November 2013 – ddileo

Deep Thoughts, Family, Life, Memories of Nonni

Thankfulness

One day I’ll truly understand what being thankful means. As I grow older and dare I say, more mature, I’m beginning to question more and more what I honestly think about things and the place they have in my life. We all have that time in our lives where things are just accepted. Usually at a young age, shaped by our parents. So obviously what we are thankful for ties hand in hand with the values which we are taught. I speak for myself when I say. Just recently, those values have shifted from another’s to my own.

I guess being thankful starts with comfort. You are naturally thankful for things you “like” or “enjoy.” But as I have grown older, I begin to realize being thankful is tied directly to what you truly hold dear. For some it may be possessions, others achievements. Nothing wrong with those. Both are reputable in the world and mostly cherished.

In my life to this point, the most honest answer I can give, would be relationships. Past and present. Big and small. Relationships are unique. They are not given but earned. They take time develop and mature. Occurrences and past experiences shape the final result. No 2 could be alike. No 2 should be alike. They are tailor made for the participants and fill emotions in the gaps of those peoples lives. Very special are they and treasuring them is simple yet steadied art to achieve.

Firstly my wife Lindsey, She is an unselfish, honest woman who is pure at heart. Those traits are all too often looked upon lightly (mostly by myself.) And in my opinion, qualities that aren’t easy to abide by, she effortlessly performs them daily. I’m thankful for her and her presence in my life and by zero means do I deserve what she brings to it. I still haven’t figured out a way to demonstrate the emotion of thankfulness to her in a acceptable way in my opinion, yet she stays. That means everything to me.

Another relationship I am immensely thankful for is my cousin Mike. We live in different states now. But in my younger years he took time to show me I mattered. He spent real time with me talking about my interest and helping me with my problems. Things I now hold very highly for my wish list on how to treat others. He told me without telling me that he cared about me. Even though we are miles away, the bond we made remains strong. Something to cherish and not something easily obtained.

My best friend Jeremy also is someone to cherish. I look up to him in many areas, professionally and personally. He has done many things for me in the past and recently. Things that some family members wouldn’t do for each other. He is someone who is truly a friend with no motive behind his actions. In my opinion that is a rarity. I only wish I could return what he is to me unto him. To this date, I’ve never met a more selfless person in my travels.

My Nonni is someone who I daily gain more respect and appreciation for. The longer she is gone the more I look back upon her and what she held important. I miss her a bunch. I miss the way she would tell a story. She would make you feel special and she wouldn’t shy away from true feelings. She loved telling you how she felt. Sometimes it was harsh, but it taught me a lot. Being a true friend and loving a person doesn’t mean you yes them to death or tell them what they wish to hear. To Nonni, loving you meant to give it to you straight, a noble trait in that is seemingly lost in most people nowadays.

Last (in this post) but certainly not least would be my mom and Dad. Maybe we always didn’t see eye to eye and still probably don’t on topics and life decisions. But that fact alone has only makes me appreciated them more. They still care for me regardless of decisions I have made in my life. There is a bond there that can never be broken, for better or worse and I appreciate that. They truly care for me and I’m not so naive to take that for granted anymore. A constant love is what they offer, to me thats the best gift parent can display.

Those are just examples and Lord knows if I mentioned everyone this post would be intolerable even by my standards. But I guess what I am trying to get across is that being thankful changes in one’s life over a period of time. Right now for me, I’m most thankful for people and the connection I make with them. I’m one of those “I don’t expect anything” people. It’s one of my few traits I actually very much appreciate. So when someone takes in interest in me, I really, truly appreciate it.

I dare you to take time to search what you are truly thankful for. Not some monotone, prefabricated answer that is expected of you. Something that truly matters. It doesn’t matter if people don’t agree. That’s the beauty of opinion. Take careful notes of what you choose. Save them. And after a couple of years put them together and see how you’ve grown. I promise you’ll learn something about yourself. If for no other reason, you’ll understand that you are not as important as you think, and the objects of your thankfulness are the things that are.

And that is something truly to be thankful for.

Family, Life

3 years old

LIAM AGE 2 VIDEO:
https://vimeo.com/75968967

I understand you are not old enough to read this. But I hope my actions and affections towards you reflect these words. Three years ago today, your mom and I welcomed you into the world. In an instant, I was exhausted, jubilant, scared, proud, and hopeful. In the intervening years, not too much has changed to my shame, aside from the fact that you have changed us both in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. On a daily basis you make me doubt my ability to be a great dad and then reinforces it immediately thereafter. Seeing you when I come home is the highlight of my day, and as soon as I walk through the door, whatever I had hanging over me is diminished.

I know you can’t understand these words and sentences. But maybe one day you will read this. Maybe not. Either way, 2nd to meeting your mom, you are the single best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you and thank you for being such a sweet boy. Happy Birthday.

your daddy

Short Stories

says the moose

A moose is standing in the forest when he suddenly hears a noise. He looks up and sees a plane flying overhead. As he watches, a man jumps out. A parachute bursts open, and the man floats safely down.

The moose goes over and looks at him. “Hello,” says the man, gathering in his parachute. “Hello,” says the moose. “What are you doing?” “Oh, nothing,” says the man, “nothing much. I just jump out of planes every now and then.”

The moose looks up at the sky. “Is it fun?” he says. “Oh, yes,” says the man. “Have you never done it?” “Me?” says the moose. “Oh, no.” “Well, come along with me,” says the man. “We’ll go back to town and get you all suited up, and then off we’ll go. What do you say?”

“I don’t know,” says the moose. “Isn’t it dangerous?” “Dangerous?” says the man. “No, not at all. Well, a little, but hey, isn’t everything?” “I guess,” says the moose, “when you put it that way.”

And after a while, he starts to nod. “All right,” he says, “OK.” “Great,” says the man. “You’re going to love it.” And he claps the moose on the back, and the two of them start off.

When they get to the edge of the city, the moose suddenly stops. “What about the people?” he says. “What about them?” says the man. “Well,” says the moose, “I’m not saying that I’m afraid of them, understand. But they’re always out in the woods looking at me. It makes me nervous. I don’t know what they want.”

“Hm,” says the man. “I doubt they want anything. But OK, here’s what we’ll do.” He takes an extra t-shirt and hat out of his bag. “Put these on. Nobody will recognize you,” he says. The moose looks at the offered disguise for a moment. “All right,” he says, and puts it on.

The man and the moose wander into town. The moose is very, very nervous. “Hey, Tom,” someone says, and a group of people come over. “How’d your jump go today, and who’s that?”

The man turns and looks at the moose. “This is my friend, Lawrence,” he says. “He just came in from the coast.” “Quite a grip you’ve got there, Lawrence,” says one of the men. “Are you bringing Lawrence to the party?” says another.

“Shoot,” says the man, looking at the moose. “I completely forgot about that. You mind coming along to this thing tonight? It’s sort of a shindig for my most recent jump.” “Sure,” says the moose, feeling self-conscious, “Sure. That’ll be fine.”

That night the man and the moose go to the party. It is at the Explorers Club. There are a number of long tables arranged in a square. The man and the moose are in the place of honor.

The moose is having a wonderful time. The food is really very good. Different people make different speeches, and the moose finds the waitress quite fascinating.

But then, suddenly, something draws his attention– heads, animal heads. They’re lining the walls all around the top– lion, zebra, deer, elk, and moose. Fear grips the moose’s heart.

“What is it?” says the man, sensing trouble. The moose turns and looks at him in horror. “You’re trying to kill me,” he says, his voice a whisper. “You brought me here to kill me.” “What?” says the man. “Why would I do that? I don’t understand.”

But the moose is too scared to explain. He stumbles backward to his feet. He points a hoof at the abomination on the wall.

The man sees it, then his eyes go wide. “oh my,” he says, “I just didn’t think.” He reaches out to reassure the moose, but his hand grabs the t-shirt, and it rips and falls off. And then, to make matters worse, the moose’s hat tumbles to the floor.

Everybody turns. “A moose,” they cry. “Get him. Get him. Get the guns.” The moose takes off. He galumphs out of the ballroom, knocking people over left and right. He barrels through the doors and off down the hall. The members of the Explorers Club are striking the glass on the gun cases. “Hurry,” they are yelling.

The moose careens out into the street. He’s weaving in and out of cars. There’s honking and screaming. The moose has never been so terrified.

“Wait, wait,” cries a voice. The moose looks back. It’s the man running after him. “I’m sorry,” yells the man. “I didn’t think. I’m so stupid. I’ll make it up to you. I’ll get you out of this, I swear.”

“Are you kidding?” yells the moose. “Why should I trust you?” Just then, gunfire erupts. It’s the Explorers Club hot on their trail. Bullets whiz past, close, closer. “I can take you to the plane,” says the man. “It’s your only chance.”

The moose thinks. Another bullet whizzes by. “All right,” the moose yells. “Climb on.” The man jumps on, and the two of them charge through the streets. “Turn left,” yells the man, and the moose turns. Up ahead is the airfield, behind, the men with guns, getting closer with every passing second.

“There’s the plane,” the man hollers, and the two dive on board. The man guns it, and the plane taxis toward the runway. Behind them, the Explorers Club lines up in a row. “Fire,” says the leader. “Fire more.”

The plane is hit in 10,000 places, but still, it manages to lift off. Behind it trails a cloud of smoke and fire that is terrifying to behold. “We’re not going to make it!” the man yells to the moose. “We’re going to have to jump.” He turns and looks for the parachutes, but there is only one.

“You take it,” says the man, pushing it to the moose. But the moose just stares at it in silence. “No, you,” says the moose. “I don’t even know how to use it. Besides, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.”

The man thinks for a moment. “We go together,” he finally says. “It might work. It might not. Who knows?”

He straps the parachute around them both and edges the moose toward the door. “On the count of three,” the man says. And the moose jumps.

The man and the moose plummet through the air. “Is that the forest,” the moose calls, “down there?” “Yes,” says the man. “Isn’t it pretty?” “It is,” says the moose. “I can see why you like doing this.”

At this point, the ground is coming up pretty fast. “All right,” says the man, “moment of truth.” The two grip the pull cord tightly together. “I hope we can be friends,” says the moose.