Family

My Valentine

I met Lindsey in an odd way. I was asked to show my best friend’s wife’s sister and her friends Manhattan for a night. It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just had so much going on in my life that I felt really bogged down on time. But Jeremy was a close friend, I said “sure thing”.

It seems like basically overnight there they were, their accents and all and me showing them around NYC. It was fun, seeing how exciting they were. But Lindsey stood out to me. I immediately was drawn to her humbleness and up for anything attitude. Ive been around girls my whole life, then I worked at a salon. But speaking honestly, Lindsey didn’t seem like a girl. She seemed like a person who was content with who she was. I found that striking and personally, something I have always longed for in myself.

It wasn’t long before we were texting, texting turned into phone calls and phone calls turned into “dates” and dates ultimately turned into babies (kidding). We got married in less than a year after we first met. Odd if you are from CT, seemingly normal if you are from GA. Anyways, my family was skeptical until they all met her. That was that. They loved her.

Me and Lindsey were only married a few months before we found out she was pregnant with Mr. Liam. People generally react negatively when I tell them this. “Well, you didn’t have much freedom” etc. etc. I get that, I see where they’re coming from and their spot on. We didn’t. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. Watching Lindsey be a “mom” or more so a “caretaker” is her in her element. She has a huge heart. It’s always on display. She cares for Liam like no one else matters. And I’m ok with that, that’s validation for me.

Today I count my blessing. More specifically, the blessing that I see everyday. The blessing that I have become numb to from time to time. The blessing that continually grows in love for me. Today I can honestly say Lindsey is my best friend. She has helped me grow greatly as a person by being understanding to my downfalls. Through scary times, Lindsey is the one who rubs my back and tells me all will be ok.

I don’t know who or where I would be today without her. Sure we have struggles and sure things are hard sometimes. But is anything worthwhile easy? I doubt it. When things get hard it’s a reminder for me. I reminder to get up, work and try harder because her happiness is worth it, our life together is worth it, our future is worth it, our family is worth it. Because she is worth it.

Happy Valentine’s Day Linds, thanks for being everything you are, all the time.

Movies

The Imitation Game 9/10

Based on the biography Alan Turing: The Enigma by Andrew Hodges, The Imitation Game is a historical thriller that not only will engage you intellectually, but teach viewers little known facts of the well known outcome of World War II.

Following the life story of Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch), who is credited with cracking the German Enigma code, The Imitation Game portrays the nail-biting race against time undertaken by Turing and his brilliant team at Britain’s top-secret code-breaking centre, Bletchley Park, during the darkest days of the Second World War.

It’s interesting to note that this film’s screenplay topped the annual Black List for best unproduced scripts in 2011 simply because it is in fact the script that propels this film. The true story alone is remarkable, but writer Graham Moore really keeps the story swift and light when handling such complicated, specific details such as Alan Turing’s machine, how it works and most complicated; how Turings mind operates.

Benedict Cumberbatch gives a superbly nuanced performance, portraying Turing with just the right amount of strangeness to make him endearing but not emotionally or intellectually unreachable. Cumberbatch brings immense talent and intelligence but not too much glamour to the socially awkward, notoriously disarranged protagonist. His nomination for best actor is validated by a clear portrayal of such a foggy, complicated man. To no surprise, Kiera Knightly is also quite good here. Bringing much lightness into an otherwise heavy film, her character rounds out Turing as human and a not the narcissist everyone perceives him to be.

At its core, Imitation Game isn’t great because it portrays a genius and makes us envious of his wit and intelligence. Instead, Imitation Game wisely highlights a man struggling with his identity and communicating himself to the rest of the world. His achievements are nothing short of brilliant, but his issues are as ordinary as the anyone else’s. If nothing more, Imitation Game displays no matter how smart someone is, or how different somebody seems, he or she is not perfect. At the end of the day, Imitation Game is a deep character study that deserves to be watched not only for historical value but the inner struggles of self identity and self worth.

There is something appealingly old fashioned about The Imitation Game, there’s no tricks or flares. It’s not dampened down with explosions or special effects. It leans on elements great movies should depend on, fantastic writing, actors who connect with their character and the audience. In many ways Imitation Game is throwback to the basics of filmmaking. It won’t make for a flashy trailer, but all the ingredients are present to combine for a fantastic journey that is infused with importance at every turn.

Do yourself a favor and see Imitation Game. Your time and attention won’t be wasted. In our present state of film, learning and being entertained simultaneously is a rare experience. Imitation Game not only offers you this but great performances and beautiful imagery as well. The Imitation Game is an astounding film and holds a righteous place as a Best Picture Nominee.

Links, Movies

M Night ?

I am a huge M. Night Shyamalan fan. From Sixth Sense to Lady in the Water, I really connected and felt at home with much of what he embodied and all his films had to offer. Then came The Happening. Enough said I guess.

Since his public demise and spiral downfall of quality in filmmaking, I have searched the interwebs to find some fair piece of writing to make sense of Night’s recent career. I found this article on Venture and while I don’t read a lot of their stuff, this particular writer makes a fair case for Night. It doesn’t glorify him like his blinded fans and it refuses to just say “he sucks” which is what most people will say of Shyamalan nowadays. I think he brings up some great stuff on Shyamalan’s faulty perception of himself.

LINK:

http://www.vulture.com/2013/05/the-buried-secret-of-m-night-shyamalan.html

Movies

American Sniper 8/10

After a handful of recent forgettable films, Clint Eastwood hits a bullseye with American Sniper. Based on the best selling, autobiography, American Sniper is not only worthy of you’re viewing, its necessary to comprehend the true meaning of psychological warfare.

Navy SEAL sniper Chris Kyle’s (Bradley Cooper) pinpoint accuracy saves countless lives on the battlefield and turns him into a legend. Back home to his wife (Sienna Miller) and kids after four tours of duty, however, Chris finds that it is the war he can’t leave behind.

American Sniper is as much about sacrifice and heroism as it is war. We follow Chris Kyle, nicknamed “legend” and rightfully so. The film portrays Kyle as calm yet concentrated man, raged with passion for his country. Driven for purposes of revenge and righteousness. American Sniper excels in showing all of Kyle’s character. Sure we see his high’s but more importantly we experience his low’s. Eastwood does a masterful job painting a full picture. He doesn’t glorify for the sake of purpose and he certainly doesn’t drag Kyle’s character through the dirt for spectacle. He handles Chris Kyle’s story with the respect and craftsmanship he rightfully deserves.

Also, American Sniper does a superb job of shining a light on a soldier’s real battle. About the war every soldier fights, first to stay alive, then to reconcile their beliefs and illusions about their duty with the realities of war. But eventually, the soldiers fight to leave the war behind and live life again. The film continuously follows Kyle as he struggles mentally to keep himself sharp. Fellow soldiers chime in more than one occasion to voice their mental instability also, its a balancing beam that no regular civilian can understand yet hopefully American Sniper helps you appreciate and gain awareness of.

With the help of Bradley Cooper’s excellent performance, American Sniper succeeds marvelously as a character study. Fully present in each scene, Cooper pulls off a genuine portrayal of man who’s layers are deep but powered by pure intentions. Sienna Miller playing Taya Kyle adds some needed perspective and plays emotional scenes with bone chilling accuracy. They balance a great family dynamic and their vignettes as a family, although sometimes heartbreaking paint a realistic picture of the love, patience and understanding great marriage needs.

Eastwood is a hard-nosed Director and delivers a no nonsense movie. You won’t find any apologies in the end credits. Also absent are statements hoping not to offend anyone. What you will find is a reality of sorts. The realization that war isn’t attractive, but unfortunately necessary. You will leave having learned much about a man who’s life deserves to be honored, but more importantly you’ll exit learning the majority of us know nothing of experiencing war firsthand, and for that you can thank people like Chris Kyle.

Your politics shouldn’t have to be pro-war, or pro-Iraq-war, or Republican, or conservative, or even pro-Chris Kyle, in order to appreciate this film and what it tries to say about soldiers and the nature of war. The narrative is about the simple truth that everybody involved is a casualty of war, but not without a righteous cause and a film like American Sniper should not only underline such a statement , but boldface it as well.

Links, Technology

Brief History of User Interface

Great video explaining the history of computer technology and software user interface. Honestly, the best i’ve seen discussing with such simplicity the history of the computer and software movement up until today.

“optimally, the user should be thinking about what they want to do, not how to use their tools.”

Superb job by software designer Dave Wiskus.

Deep Thoughts, Family, Life

#2

It’s funny how things play out. When Lindsey and I first found out she was pregnant with Liam I had really mixed emotions. Sure I was happy and extremely grateful. But speaking honestly, I was scared and felt supremely unprepared. In my mind who wouldn’t be? How can anyone honestly say they are completely at ease with realizing they will be inevitably responsible for a human being? I just felt a mixed bag of emotions for 9 months. And honestly I didn’t understand how nobody else felt this way.

When Liam finally came I was blown away. The mixed emotions suddenly vanished and I felt completely at ease. In a way that I couldn’t have imagined he accepted me as his father. Sure, he didn’t have a choice you could say. But honestly, I found and still find that inspiring. When he started to talk, he called me “dad”. He wasn’t ashamed to. He loved me regardless of my faults. Oblivious or not, he loved me for me. As he grew older, he entrusted in me to play catch with him. To teach him how to shoot a basketball. He wasn’t watching closely if I was teaching right. Liam just smiled and took my word for it. Thats a big deal to me and I appreciate him for it.

Say what you will about me. An unsure, too aware, too sensitive person who thinks way too much for his own good. Liam doesn’t say anything like that about me. He calls me his “hero.” He’s proud to call me his “daddy.” He looks forward to seeing me when I feel I cant bring anything to the table, which is always. The truth is Liam brings out the best in me whether I can identify it or not. He enables me to be a good dad because on my own I am unequipped. His observations of me are not my obligations, they just exist and succeed in Liam’s head. I don’t have to work at being anything to Liam, I just am. That’s good enough for him and fortunate for me.

I am blessed to say Lindsey is pregnant again. I don’t deserve such a privilege twice in my life. Things are different this time for me. I know what to expect. I know the challenges, I fully understand what the potential of what the future may hold. In many ways Lindsey’s pregnancy proves to be a great reminder to not be so full of myself. To once again realize that life isn’t about me. I now have 3 people in my life who’s lives I will earnestly attempt put before mine.

I have been thinking a lot about how I want #2 to be different. And I don’t know the right answers. But I know 2 things for sure. This time around I want to be a better husband for Lindsey in her pregnancy. I want her to know that when she is feeling weak i’m going to be there to pick up the pieces. I want her to know that this time I will be there mentally as well as physically. I never want a day to go by where she isn’t praised for A. being a great mom and B. for being an even better wife. She deserves someone better than me and i’ll try and be that person throughout her pregnancy,

Secondly, I want our new child to know more than ever that he/she will be loved not by a model parent who does everything right and crosses his T’s and dots his I’s. Not by a perfect parent who will have expectations and self realized goals for his child to meet before they arrive at k-3. No, thats just not me. I want my future child to know he/she will be raised by a non-perfect, loving parent who although he will make many, many, many mistakes. He will always get up, dust himself off and try again.

I don’t claim to be many things. But I am proud to proclaim I try my very best to by my very best for the people I love in my life. I make a conscious effort to improve daily. I’ve never said I am succeeding and certainly will never “arrive.” But baby #2 I just wanted to tell you, no matter how you look or what your like. No matter how many fingers you have or how smart you turn out, if I achieve nothing else as a parent I pray you will learn one thing from me. The quest of being perfect is wrong and unobtainable. Being honest and humble is of utmost important. Realizing all you can do is your personal best (no matter how that is gauged) and put the rest in God’s hand.

Our relationship is brand new. A clean slate you can say. I hope when the colors start to emerge on this blank piece of paper, they create something beautiful. I hope you realize later in life that my failures will be unachieved, honest attempts. I hope you realize that no matter what anyone calls you or says to you, the only thing that matters is you finding your happiness. I found mine. My family. I cant provide for them like I wish or would have predicted earlier in my life and certainly have proven to not have the mental strength they deserve or need. But I try my best. And that’s all you can do.

Baby #2, No matter how God chooses to craft you, I already love you the way you are. Because my expectations don’t matter . Not now, not ever. I will try my very best to be the very best me I can be for you.

I don’t care if your a boy or a girl, I don’t care if you are athletic or smart. I will never care if you are popular or not. I do supremely care that you know I love you no matter how God chooses to make you.

I cant wait to meet you.

Movies

Unbroken 6/10

Many know Angelina Jolie as an A list movie star but this go around she’s switching roles and getting behind the camera. Jolie has been vocal with her desire to film the much acclaimed and greatly loved Laura Hillenbrand’s “Unbroken”. A Best Selling biography about the amazing true story of Louis Zamperini.

Unbroken follows and documents World War II hero Louis Zamperini, a former Olympic track star who survived a plane crash in the Pacific Ocean, spent 47 days drifting on a raft, and then survived more than two and a half years as a prisoner of war in several brutal Japanese prisoner-of-war camps.

Sounds amazing right? The irony is while the movie passes as acceptable, it hardly gives this true story the craft and care it deserves. I’m personally puzzled why a story this great came up so short as a film. The material is indisputably dramatic but it hasn’t been shaped or shot with any dynamism. It just seems bland and incapable of telling Louis Zamperini’s story with clarity.

Unbroken isn’t all bad though, it’s handsome to say the least. It’s bright and colorful when it needs to be and grim and dim when times are rough. No doubt this is a credit to Cinematographer Roger Deakins. More so than Jolie, Deakins is able to make us feel much more involved on visuals alone. The bleakness of Louis Zamperini’s situation is complimented nicely by the sterile and deserted environments Deakins achieves through his lens. He always makes us a feel a part of the movie no matter which environment we get plopped into.

More of the good in Unbroken parallels with what makes America truly great. The unwillingness to surrender in peril times, the tenacity of survival and most importantly the “if you can take it, you can make it” attitude. All these are great themes and should play for a great movie considering the source material. Unfortunately the film comes up short to deliver an engaging narrative. Yes, Zamperini’s story is fantastic, empowering and inspirational. But the film does it little justice.

It’s not that Unbroken is a bad movie, far from it. But frustration settles in and when you realize the potential of what this film could’ve been. Maybe in the hands of a more experienced filmmaker, I’m not sure. I would still recommend seeing Unbroken if for no other reason than to experience Louie Zamperini’s story. An inspiring, courageous and altogether triumphant true story about a man who overcame impossible odds.

Unbroken ultimately leaves you with an incomplete feeling. Jolie’s direction is safe and blockbustery, but no one involved in this production seemed to crack the strong-willed Zamperini, making for a confused, unsteady life-affirming biopic.

6/10