This time around I really wanted to “feel” the experience so I decided to try video. I think for the most part everything turned out good. I had a blast documenting the journey and making it come to life. To be honest, the only difficult aspect was editing. I purposely left my MacBook Pro at home mainly because I wanted to edit on my iPad Pro. Let’s just say me and iPad had some issues. I’m not sure if this was because I’m so used to Final Cut Pro that iMovie felt so stripped down or I’m just simply a Mac guy who is accustomed to many more customizable options.
I think the final product is a true representation of what that crisp, fall morning felt like. Connecticut in the Fall is an amazing place. I was so thankful I had good weather and the ability to get out, see and feel some amazing moments.
Sometimes the worst situations bring out the best in people. Traveling across the country for my Grandfather’s funeral has shed light on some things; people are good and having a close family unit is priceless. In the hardest times, a loving, supporting family sticks together.
My recent trip back home wasn’t ideal. I saw loving faces and made memories but a sad occasion brought all of my family together. I first received news my Grandfather wasn’t doing well while on vacation at Disney World. An odd place to find out tragic news to say the least. Luckily, I was with good friends that made the trip as enjoyable as situationally possible. But, his well being laid heavily on my mind.
Once Lindsey and I got home from Disney, it wasn’t long before we received unfortunate news. Papa passed away. I never have gotten used to that ‘quick switch’ moment you experience when a loved one passes; one second they’re here, the next they’re gone.
I love going home to see my family. It sort of acts as a breath of fresh air. A reminder of who I am and where I’m from. But, this trip was understandably going to be difficult.
Before the trip even started I felt a sense of overwhelming stress. It’s hard to explain really. I’ve never been so overcome with thoughts and emotion that I couldn’t function, but honestly I was feeling hints. Lindsey was absolutely amazing. She took care of booking the trip and genuinely carrying any load needed until we were on a plane. She was a rockstar.
When my Papa’s health started failing him a few years back I made the decision that I wanted Liam to make the trip for Papa’s services. I knew my family would really appreciate seeing him. I knew much needed Mommy, Daddy, Liam time would occur. Also I knew he is at an age where he will remember and soak up this experience. So I was super happy Liam joined Lindsey and I up to Connecticut.
When we arrived my brother and his wife, Urszela picked us up from JFK. On a side note, JFK was desolate and empty. I was waiting for tumbleweeds to slide gracefully across the empty terminal. Seeing my brother and driving home with him immediately put me back in the CT mind-state. Lindsey always mentions how I am different in CT and I never really know what she means. I think I understand now. It’s like putting someone in their natural environment. I always feel comfortable and at ease in CT. Anyways after a late night stop at Darian’s rest stop, we spent the night at my dads.
The next morning we ate breakfast, Liam and I played some basketball with my Dad and then headed off to my mom’s. The weather really was magnificent all trip; Low 70’s and breezy. What else could you ask for? The nights were even hitting the 40’s. A welcomed surprise for sure. We got to my moms and I was relieved to see all was the same when I left it last. That may seem odd. But leaving home is tough and coming back to familiarity is comforting.
Our first day at mom’s only had 1 event scheduled. Apparently my family were all getting together every night since my Grandfather’s passing and eating at different houses. This particular night my Mom was hosting. I gently asked if pizza would be present, and my Mom informed me that it wasn’t on the menu. Lindsey and I love this local pizza place called ‘Vitos.’ So we swung by there to pick up their famous Garlic and Broccoli. Still delicious.
Being at my Mom’s the first full day was great. It was really nice because it gave me a chance to see everyone immediately. Like I said, tough occasion for getting together. But I was really thankful to see everyone again.
The next day was the wake. Services didn’t start until 4pm. While our primary reason for being in CT was family and Papa’s funeral, Lindsey and I had a window to relive some of our favorite spots, so we took it. We left the house on a crispy, breezy fall morning and ventured out to my favorite place in the world; Northwest, CT. We drove to Averill Farms and got apple cider donuts and freshly made cider. Then drove through the back roads of Litchfield through Torrington to see our old condo. Then to Canton to eat an early lunch at Flatbread Co. Flatbraed is this amazing place where all their ingredients come from local farms and they cook only with an open, wood-fired pit. An amazing morning to say the least. It truly is magical how seeing old places can give you a feeling of renewed spirit.
We arrived home and had just enough time to get ready for the Papa’s wake.
The wake wasn’t as bad as I expected. My family, for the most part, was in good spirits. The turnout was very large. Even with COVID protocols in place. Papa looked rested. He was engulfed with beautiful flowers surrounding him. One of his favorite things was UConn basketball. So a large presence of UConn colored arrangements were there. Also pictures of family were in his casket and all around. It was a sweet atmosphere created by my Mom, Aunt Judy and Aunt Chris. They loved him very much and it showed in their attention to detail.
After the wake we went over to my Grandma’s and had a light dinner. Even there it struck me how close knit we all are. I really took this for granted for a long time. Being away makes things clearer in ways. This is one of them. If I never realized it before, I did now. I have an amazing family that have each other’s backs and genuinely loves and cares for one another.
A word about Lindsey in Connecticut…
I can’t state accurately enough how great she was. She constantly was asking what she could do. How she could help. She was going out of her way to make anyone’s life easier. I was so proud to call her my wife. I mean I always am. But, she was so extremely thoughtful and considerate on this trip. I will never forget that.
Our last day there was the funeral. Notably, this was a more somber event. My family was much more quiet and reserved. I was feeling really choked up the entire day, myself. We got to the funeral home around 9am to pay our last respects. I was selected as a pallbearer so my brother, cousins and I drove in a limo together from the funeral home to the church.
At one point in route, I remember thinking this is what life is all about. Being with special people in your life in both, the hard and good times. Sure, we haven’t seen each other in a while, but none of that mattered. There is a closeness present that no one can explain. Any close family has it.
The church gave a respectful service. I learned a lot about my Grandfather during my Aunt Chris’s eulogy. I learned he was a founding member of that particular church, I learned he was awarded an older workers award from the Senator a few years back. Amazing information that a humble man, such as my Grandfather, would never tell you. My aunt Chris did a tremendous job with the eulogy. Though I was being considered to write it early on, I could have never done as concise or accurate portrayal of papa as Aunt Chris did.
After church the pallbearers again hopped in the limo and drove to the cemetery for Papa’s final resting place. The location is beautiful. It’s on a hill overlooking the city of Waterbury. Towards the end of his life, my Grandfather worked as a limo driver for local funeral homes. As a touching final goodbye, the directors from all the major funeral homes where present and rested their gloves on the casket of my Grandfather. It was amazingly moving.
I let Liam and Lindsey place a rose on the casket. That was the moment; the single moment where I knew Papa would be proud of what I have become. I’m nothing special. But I try to emulate his gentleness and kindness through my life and family. I know he loved Lindsey and Liam immensely and I know he would be proud of our family.
We left and once again met as a family at my Papa’s favorite restaurant; ‘The Manor Inn.’ There, I again had the same feelings of gratefulness and appreciation for such a close and caring family.
The absolute ironic part of having a close family like we have is that it started with leadership. It started at the top. It started with my Grandfather; an exceptional man who’s life examples and lessons echoes in my mind forever as priceless memories.
My grandpa was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was a friend to many, a husband, a father, a brother, a grandfather, a great grandfather. He also was the embodiment of a kind and gentle human being who led by example. He didn’t strive to be loud or heard, but his presence was more than sufficient to leave an impact.
In the book of Ephesians, Paul lists the characteristics of a loving human filled with the spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Long-suffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness and Temperance. The world today is seriously lacking all of those characteristics. But my Papa’s life displayed not only the traits of a loving husband and father but the blueprint of how to achieve such.
If Papa wanted me to learn anything from his life I truly believe it was this… You don’t always have to be the loudest in the room. You don’t have to drive the fanciest cars or have the nicest things. You don’t have to have a flashy personality or have the spotlight directly on you. He never did or cared for such accomplishments.
What you do have to do though, is love your family with all of you. Sacrifice daily so loved ones can get ahead. Be an amazing listener and care for others more than yourself.
Papa’s greatest lesson he ever taught was soft, quiet whispers of examples. He was as strong as he was quiet. He was as loving as he was gentle. He was an amazing leader and the embodiment of a man who was utterly secure in his ways and unparalleled at being gracious and selfless to his loved ones.
I am forever blessed and thankful to call Papa my teacher, my example and simply my grandfather. They say you can’t pick family. But God gave my family the best Grandfather anyone could possibly ask for.
I love you Papa. I will miss you more than I know how to describe. But rest assured, that your ways of kindness and selflessness will continue to live on through myself and my family. We are honored and forever grateful to have felt your love and warmth in our lives.
After many TSA check points, gate changes and traffic jams, we are back home in Georgia. But thats the end of the story. It’s funny, when you return to your normal life its easy to forget where you were just a mere 24 hours prior, geographically and mentally.
For those who don’t know, Lindsey and I spent 3 solid days in Connecticut recently. It was a fantastic time as usual. I’m still feeling a huge deal of thankfulness just being able to travel and see family.
Believe it or not, my intentions were to vlog this trip. I wanted to really capture all we experienced through video. Plus, vlogging continually fascinates my filmmaker senses. At the end the day though, I was worried the pressure of carrying a camera around and ensuring the best shots possible would get to me. I ultimately decided not to vlog but instead go to trustworthy medium. Writing. Maybe one day i’ll vlog a trip, it just didn’t feel right for the one.
· NO KIDS & GOING NORTH ·
Leaving our kids behind was a tough thing to do. We have a great babysitter and all, but anytime you travel 1000 miles away from your kids, it’s not easy. This was Lindsey’s first time being that far away for multiple days. I thought the distance would be good, though. We needed a break and they were in good hands. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t tough, but once the dust settled in and we were on our way to the airport everything was fine.
Me and Lindsey on the plane heading north!
We flew up to JFK on Saturday, June 24th. We had to drop the kids off early and hustle to the airport, but we made it. Even squeezed in a Panera stop. Our flight was on time and super smooth. Two thumbs up JetBlue. I watched the great Werner Herzog‘s latest documentary: “Into the Inferno.” Spectacular as usual. On a side note, that guy is turning into my favorite filmmaker. His filmography spans decades and everything I’ve seen from him is thought-provoking, intelligent and honest. But thats another blog entry.
· NEW YORK CITY ·
New York City was anything but smooth. We landed at old faithful JFK and I immediately remembered that I completely forgot the busyness of NYC. The plan was my brother picking us up from baggage claim, dropping us off in Times Square and then Lindsey and I taking the train from Grand Central to CT. Well, that didn’t pan out. Due to enormous traffic constraints, my brother was unable to make picking us up and while he felt awful, I told him no sweat. He had somewhere to be by a certain time and we didn’t want to hold him up. It was sweet of him to try, but traffic was a monster. Lindsey and I ended up taking an Uber into the city. Our driver Chen didn’t speak a word of english. But he knew how to drive to Times Square. All is well.
Receipt from Chen!
Lindsey chilling in Grand Central Station
Lindsey and Me in Times Square
While in Times Square, many ‘interesting’ things occurred. Too many to list. I’ll highlight the high points. Walking unknowingly through a gay pride parade happened. Needless to say, Lindsey and I were taken a bit off guard. We then were en route to find some food. Well, once again I seemed to forget NYC and Saturday’s tourist demand for food. Everywhere we went there was at least an 2 hour wait. We were starving and would have taken McDonalds. We didn’t though. We were able to score a table at Guy Fieri’s joint and I gobbled a $18 cheeseburger. Not the best cheeseburger in the world, but at that point I really didn’t care. Lindsey ate this exotic looking chicken dish. We both shared desert.
A quick trip to the Disney store for the kids and we were off to Grand Central where we caught the 8:30 train and headed to the homeland. Well, my homeland. Connecticut!
· CONNECTICUT, CRISP AIR & MORNING TALKS ·
The minute we stepped off the train in Fairfield, CT I felt at home. The cool breeze whistling through the summer night’s air, the hybrid of city and town, hillside views and those shiny blue license plates. Everything just felt right again. After a quick car ride home from my Mom and Mike and some political/baseball/cultural conversation, Lindsey and I got some well needed rest.
The next morning I woke up early to find my mom sitting on the back deck enjoying the crisp morning air. It was a great opportunity to talk about her recent major life-changing decision. My mom recently retired from her one and only job of 50 years. Although she didn’t leave quite as she would have liked, anyone with knowledge of the specifics would agree it was the right move for her wellbeing.
She seemed in high spirits. She mentioned to me how not working has completely changed her mental health and she even has added some new hobbies. Bike riding, long walks and planting her own garden were actions she just never had the time to do while working full time. I came out of the talk happy for her. She seems to have found peace and contentment in life after work.
· CHURCH AND ITALIAN FOOD ·
I was particularly excited for Sunday. The whole reason we came to CT was for my Poppa’s 90th birthday bash which was Sunday PM. But Sunday morning was exciting also. We went to our old church and saw some friendly faces. It’s amazing what places and faces can do. Just being in church and talking to all of our friends immediately brought me back to living there. We also were able to meet the new Pastor, who was super nice and genuine. Seemed like all is going well at FBBC.
After church Lindsey really wanted some good Italian food. So we ventured to Joey Garlic’s, a staple in Plainville, CT. As usual the food was amazing. Sticking to my diet though, I did OK. But that grip was soon to be loosened. We had the pleasure of being accompanied by my best friend Jeremy’s parents at lunch. Lindsey made the statement that she feels so close to Mrs. Lilly (Jeremy’s mom) because when she lived in CT, Mrs. Lilly really treated Lindsey like a daughter. Always checking up on her, always inviting her to places when she knew Lindsey didn’t know many people. Truth is, they are both great people and Lindsey and I were blessed to spend some quality time with them.
Joey Garlic menu shows proof that in CT “subs” are called GRINDERS for some GA non believers
· POPPA’S PARTY ·
We got home from lunch and helped my Mom pack about 8 large dishes of Italian cookies into the back of Mike’s truck and off they went. As they pulled out it hit me how hard she worked over those cookies and planning with my Aunt Chris and Aunt Judy for this party. All three of them really wanted to make this party special. They overwhelmingly succeeded. Anyone who attended would say the same. Their efforts did not go unnoticed.
I’ve thought the whole way home and up until this moment how to put into words my emotions attending this party. The truth is; any words I attempt to type will never meet demand. The three hours at my Poppa’s party very well may prove to be some of the best memories I’ve had the privilege of making.
Lindsey writing a message for Poppa
Me, my cousins & brother with Poppa and Grandma
Lindsey, Me, Poppa & Grandma
Happy 90th!
I left feeling so thankful that we were able to come and experience such a special event. To me, what made it so special was all my family in the same room at the same time just honoring and celebrating this man, who no one would deny is a genuinely great man. There’s something to be said for celebrating someones life. For myself, it really puts things in perspective. Sure, we have stressful days with our jobs, kids, situations, etc. But, thats not the end all be all. We are on this earth for a bigger purpose; to help and treat people well. To be a great role model for our kids, to teach them the right paths. My grandfather did all of those things to perfection.
As long as I live I will never forget that night and all of us saying kind things to our grandfather from the podium. Even if some people didn’t, there was an unspoken feeling that everyone had a collective opinion; he is a great man.
· BACK AT A FIRE DEPARTMENT ·
We really wanted to see my cousin Mike, so although late, we went over to his work at Waterbury Fire. The guys he works with are all pretty awesome and didn’t care how long or late we stayed. We had a good talk about many things (as usual) and said our goodbyes for now. A big part of me always wanted to work there. So whenever I get to visit is always special. And yea, hanging out with Mike isn’t so bad either.
· DAD AND PEPE’S PIZZA ·
My parents are divorced, so whenever we travel up to CT I always try and spend equal time with my mom and dad. I don’t in anyway look at this as a burden, but an opportunity to have quality time with both independently. So we spent our last day in CT with my Dad and Diane. We headed up to his house around 10am and just hung out a bit.
Dad wanted to take me to the hair salon (where I used to manage) to give him a haircut and help him with some paper work. Its always extremely hard for me to go back to the salon. I have so many memories and vivid thoughts about that place. After all, I spent close to my whole life being there. I miss it. I can’t help but think about the “what if’s” but I pushed forward and tried even harder to be in the moment and spend good time with my dad.
While we headed back to his house I had the window down the whole time. I couldn’t get over how no humidity was in the air. Just a cool breeze all day long. It was so refreshing.
Pepe’s pizza was on my list of “must do’s.” So the whole ride there I was questioning the merits of my diet and how many pizzas I was going to order. Sure enough, I ordered one, but of course devoured it. What I didn’t eat at the restaurant, I polished off for breakfast the next morning. We went to a new Pepe’s, though. This was a first for me. I have only been to the original in New Haven, but the Danbury location was almost just as good. Lindsey was asking me afterwords if I thought it was as good as the original. I didn’t mind the tiny difference, but I told her if I was bringing someone for the first time, I would definitely go to New Haven.
Happy times at Pepe’s
Real Deal
After Pepe’s we headed to a very interesting grocery store called “Stew Leonards“; a Connecticut exclusivity. Not many people know about Stew Leonards, buts it’s basically a circus for super markets. Talking animals all over the place and food samples galore. I could tell Lindsey really enjoyed it though. She got a sample of coffee, cinnamon buns and I think a few other things. Anyways, she was a fan. We headed back to my Dads to just chill out and rest the remainder of the day.
My Dad and I had some good talks about his current situations in CT, continually looking for real estate in Florida and just every day stuff. When your used to spending every minute together at work 6 days a week and now don’t, you’d be surprised how much you miss the presence of that person. At least, thats how I feel with my Dad. Very thankful we got to spend good time together.
· GOING SOUTH ·
Our final day was a quick one. We had to leave for JFK at around 10am because traffic into the city is always an unknown. But before we left my brother Mike and Urszela came to say goodbye and pick up their car they so nicely allowed us to use. My brother is currently planning on building a house in front of my father’s so it was interesting to me to see his blueprints and my dads recommendations on modification. I doubt any of the suggestions will be used, but that didn’t stop my dad from shooting some out there.
We left for the airport and got there in plenty of time. There was a spirited “discussion” between Lindsey and my Dad involving Amazon, salon products and future proofing salon business. While both perspectives were on different ends of the spectrum, they both brought very interesting points to the table. Another side note, the older I get the more I like participating in conversations as a spectator of sorts. I learn a whole lot more that way.
Buying the JetBlue “even more space/speed” upgrades was a huge help side-stepping the normal security lines. Then things got rocky. Our flight got delayed 3 times pushing it back about 3 hours. It all worked out though, Lindsey had work to do on her laptop and I was knee deep in some food and a few movies.
When we finally did take off, our ride was a little bumpy and we fought some rain towards the end of our flight. This flight home, I watched “The Stanford Prison Experiment.” It won’t set anyone’s world on fire, but it was an interesting look into authority and the abuse it could take unknowingly. Anyhows, after we landed in the pouring rain of Jacksonville, Lindsey and I were anxious to see the little dudes. We sped home and got some very big, much needed hugs.
· REFLECTION ·
All in all, we had a great time. I’m not just saying that because its what your supposed to say when you travel back home, I’m saying it because its really how I feel. I was so thankful to be back home and see all of my great family. Some I see on the internet everyday, some I haven’t seen since we moved 3 years ago.
I often marvel at the technology we have at our fingertips and am thankful for FaceTime and phone calls, but nothing could replace being at my Poppa’s party hearing him give a heartfelt, genuine thank you to all who attended.
I especially am happy Lindsey and I got to go just the 2 of us. A big part of me would have loved for our kids to come, but we really needed some time to just relax and talk like humans again.
I already miss Connecticut, my family, fantastic food and the cool breeze. But if I learned anything from going back home time and time again, Connecticut lives on without me. Thats a hurtful truth and sometimes hard to come to grips with. But I like thinking about Connecticut that way. Moving on, moving forward. My family still doing family party’s just like I was there. The traditions of my family and their get-togethers mean more to me now than ever. I need to know they are continuing, thats more important than me being there. I’m just a small piece to a larger puzzle. But the older I get, the more thankful I am to be a part of such a special family. Thank you to everyone and anyone who made our trip so special. We love you and miss you very much.
I’ve mentioned previously that working on big, long writing entries have been far, few and in between lately. Well, at some point in the next week or 2 I’m going to post one that I have been working on a while. It has to do with silence, or the lack of quiet time in our lives. I hope everyone enjoys it. **By the way, I have put my most recent “deep thinkers” in a widget either on the bottom or side of the site (depending on mobile or not) for easier accessibility.
In other news, Lindsey and I just bought a bunch of new furniture for our home. We moved in almost 2 years ago now but never really furnished our house the way we would have liked to. Recently, we purchased a bunk bed for Liam and Luca, a new media table for our tv and electronics. A bunch of “homey” type things for the walls and decor purposes.
Then Lindsey went to the Restoration Hardware outlet in Jacksonville and really got some good buys. We’ve always loved Restoration Hardware but can barely afford anything there. The outlet offered some great deals and we took advantage of it. We got 2 gorgeous dressers for the boys bedroom and our bedroom. Also we got a great kitchen table that fits our home well. All in all, our house is shaping up quite nicely before arrival of baby #3.
Lastly, Lindsey and myself will be going to Connecticut in a few weeks to celebrate my Grandpa’s 90th birthday. We are super excited to spend time with him and all of my family! It is quite an odd trip for us considering we are going alone. No kids. We are both looking forward to enjoying some sane time again, but i’m sure we will miss the kids within hours of leaving. All in all, I love going back to Connecticut, though. I lived 27 years of my 31 year life there and as much as things change, everything in CT seems to stay the same.
That’s about all the updates for now. You may have noticed I am not posting everyday. This is half intentional and half because of how hectic everything has been lately. But for now, I’m going to focus in on finalizing my “deep thought” post on silence and hopefully upload it within 2 weeks.
*ddileo 