*ddileo

Coronavirus Chronicles 1

Obviously the Coronavirus is here. It’s everywhere; all over the world. What else can you say is everywhere? Oxygen? These are really crazy times. Every store front; a white piece of paper. Every company you’ve ever done business with; an email. Masks shortages, getting the death stare while coughing in public. Movie stuff, really…

I’ve had many moments of free time and reflection the past few weeks. I’ve found my writing in Day One increased substantially. I’m lucky in the fact that writing has really never been an issue for me. I’ve never had a loss for words when writing. Speaking, well that’s entirely different. But, writing always felt like a way to speak at my own pace – in my own tone – with no one correcting, judging or losing interest. I suspect thats why many introverts trend towards writing.

This got me thinking….

In my Day One app, my topics have been slowing merging from personal to blogosphere stuff. Why not write on here? So here I am. I can’t promise a post everyday, but I will try to write on a consistent basis during this Coronavirus period.

As much as the idea of writing has always been personal to me, the end result is always almost never that, especially with this site. In times of isolation and sheltering in place, writing here again proves to check many boxes that fit well in times like this.

Life

Bitty & Beau’s Coffee

Lindsey and I recently spent a day in Savannah, GA. We had a great time experiencing an amazing bed and breakfast, riding around listening to historic tour guides and eating a steaming hot chicken pot pie from Paula Dean’s restaurant (to name a few events).

Along the way we encountered something really special, though. After a trolly tour and walking outside, we got a little cold and needed a warm up. Searching for a coffee shop, we accidentally stumbled upon a little place called Bitty & Beau’s Coffee.

We entered and right off the bat something felt different. We couldn’t put our finger on it at the start. Our cashier seemed to be a special needs man and the more I looked around, a lot of the employees were. After a few more moments I realized besides a man making the coffee, the employees seemed to be all special needs.

While we were waiting for our order, a television caught my attention. It displayed a woman accepting an award. Then bringing the award to all of her employees with special needs. I looked around the coffee shop again. At the end of my look, my eyes rested on Lindsey’s. It’s like it hit us both at the exact same time.

I immediately googled and our thoughts were confirmed.

Turns out Bitty & Beau’s Coffee is a very special place. The owner’s have 4 children, 2 (Bitty & Beau) that have down syndrome. Instead of hiding them from the world, the owners decided to show the world their children’s capabilities.

As they say, the rest is history. I’ve linked the company’s about page and support page. So, I think you’ll get the gist. Plus, their website can explain it better than I ever could.

sign near the register

Me buying Lindsey her mug

inside

outside

Lindsey’s mug

Being in there and discovering that this company is giving special needs people a chance at a productive life made me extremely emotional. To the point of tears, really. Probably because our middle child has autism.

I very often think about what Luca’s future holds. I pray every single day he can and will live a life of fulfillment to whatever his desires are. But the simple truth is we just don’t know yet. We are doing everything we can to help him and while he’s made great improvements in the past year. We have no way of knowing the next 10 years of progression looks like.

So, the fact that there are people out there who are trying their best to show the world people with special needs are capable of living a productive life and enabling them an opportunity really, really hit home. For Lindsey and I, both.

I wanted to share this story because more and more, I feel it’s really important to be aware of special experiences like this and support these causes. Maybe parents who don’t have children with special needs or mental limitations won’t understand or more fairly, can’t understand. Speaking as a parent who’s child is autistic, Lindsey and I know Luca is special and we believe he is brilliant in his own way.

I can’t really adequately describe how much it was a such a breath of fresh air to see the owners of Bitty & Beau’s Coffee shop put their trust and confidence in these very special individuals.

A truly inspiring and heartwarming experience.

Life

2020: Year of Travel

2020 won’t convert me into a traveling wizard and by other people’s standards, our travel miles won’t be mind blowing. But for us, 2020 will be a travel heavy year.

The Minimalist’s introduced me to the idea of giving gifts of experiences, not things. That really resonated with me. Very few physical gifts I’ve received actually reward me with value. I’m 34 years old now. I’ve had a large sample size of receiving and giving physical things to loved ones. I always appreciate the thought and money that goes into the transaction of buying a gift, but those gifts never have a long life to them. For me, memories do.

So I wanted to pay it forward per-say. I wanted to act on my feelings and physically manifest what I feel is true. For Christmas this year, I surprised my wife with a trip to Paris. In return she surprised me with a weekend get away. Then my wife’s brother surprised us with another weekend getaway!

These trips will also be accompanied by an anniversary trip in September and a hopeful trip to Connecticut for Christmas. You may be thinking thats really not a lot of traveling, but for us, it is. Choosing what we spend our money on is becoming more vital every day. And I can’t think of a better gift to give, then the gift of time and money spent wisely. For us, being together and taking timeouts from our hectic life feels like the right thing to be gifting this year.

In 2020 we will be traveling a lot compared to our normal. More importantly, we will be making memories together and spending well needed quality time. If I learned anything from 2019, quality time and communication is essential for me. Its not a recommendation for mental health, it’s a requirement for our well being.

Welcome 2020. I hope you bring conversations that spark growth and memories that last forever.

Life, Videos

Leo – AGE 1

For such a young age, Leo has certainly been through a lot. I would comfortably say Leo’s year was the definition of growth and transformation. He started out age 1 as a baby struggling to gain weight, being fed by a tube to a sturdy 24 month old who is on track for weight in his age and rough houses smoothly with his older brothers.

He’s a happy little guy. The resilience he showed this past year was amazing. It touched and inspired everyone. End all be all, we are just very thankful he is healthy, eating and laughing. Funny how the simplest things in life ultimately mean the most.

We love you Leo. Happy 2nd birthday buddy.

Life

2019 In Review

2019 was another slow year in production on the site and an increased usage in my Day One app. Nevertheless, I always enjoy doing these yearly wrap-ups. Thank you again for visiting my site and reading my words. You time is truly appreciated….

To recap, none of my posts were selected by WordPress Editors this year. But ‘Status Crisis‘ without question, handed me the most feedback of the year. So it wasn’t a surprise the site traffic supported that info. ‘Project Screentime‘ seemed to strike a chord with certain people and also rub younger people the wrong way. That was interesting.

I always enjoy giving the “most criticized” award and this year it wasn’t even close… ‘Fact, Belief and UFOs‘ got me weeks of bashing and disagreeing. So, there’s that.

Honestly though, the absolute highlight of my year was a two post combination. ‘Motherly Instinct‘ and ‘Luca AGE 3‘ really gave me hope for the world. They were both extremely personal to me and the supportive feedback for both posts were nothing short of amazing and encouraging.

Anyways, here is the Top 10 by site traffic….

Status Crisis
Motherly Instinct
Project ScreenTime: Dethrone the Phone
Luca AGE 3
Fact, Belief & UFOs
Liam AGE 8
The Fiction Revisited
Leo – NEWBORN
Joker and Mental Illness
Won’t You Be My Neighbor (2018)

Thank you again for visiting my site. I know my long form stuff has really slowed up this past year but who knows, maybe in 2020 posts will come more frequent! I have many ideas as usual and am currently working hard to find a better life/work balance.

Merry Christmas !

-Danny

Life

The Happiness Paradox

At this point it’s really difficult to not recommend Matt’s YouTube channel. All of his videos are phenomenal in their own unique ways. To my estimation, his most recent, ‘The Happiness Paradox’ hits most true and authentic, personally.

I also love that he mentions Author Alan Watts. Somewhere in the middle of Buddhism and Christianity, Watts words and ideas have often helped me and almost always relate to how I feel about events, feelings and ideas. In a world where people love stances and ideals to be stark black or white, Watt is difficult to recommend because he most definitely lives in the gray. (Which by the way is ok).

Anyhow, if you haven’t already….please check out Matt’s new video. It’s really good, healthy food for the hungry mind.

Videos

Liam – AGE 8

I can’t believe he is already nine years old.

Liam is full of love. He is a caring, gentle person. Very sensitive to his own and others feelings. His empathy for people is off the charts for someone his age. Lindsey and I are so proud of the little man he is becoming.

Happy Birthday buddy. We love you.

Movies

Joker & Mental Illness

I understand Joker is a divisive film. I also understand its a hard film to watch. But no one is talking about what Joker does so right; accurately depicting mental health. I saw Joker about a week ago. Though deeply disturbed within a few minutes, it was pretty evident the film had layers upon layers of commentary on how current societies treatment of mental illness is lacking.

Obviously, Joker is a departure from the current superhero fanfare. Absent is glitter, large explosions and action sequences. Instead, Joker is focused on the psychosis of Arthur Fleck and how a seemingly ordinary man can descend into madness amidst a society that seriously struggles to protect its most vulnerable.

The concept of evil has always been portrayed and propagated as something impenetrable and unknowable. It is a common understanding that evil exists as something separate to us, that our moral resolve is capable of fending it away. Joker battles against this misconception through its realistic portrayal of the circumstances that can push someone to become evil.

Question: is to understand where evil comes from the same as condoning it? There is a distinct line between empathy and approval that the film treads carefully. Todd Philips’ direction only allows our empathy for Arthur to extend to the point to which he kills someone. We can understand where Arthur is coming from, but the film isn’t celebrating nor condoning his actions. This is done in large part due to Joaquin Phoenix’s nuanced performance of a pathetic yet sympathetic man who, in a domino of unfortunate events, becomes a performance artist of violence and a sign of chaos.

The thing that separates Arthur from the others he is unfairly compared to is his early intentions to be good in spite of his circumstances. All he wants is acceptance and love even when it is clear no one wants him. It is this desperation for recognition that makes Phoenix’s performance sympathetic and ever more tragic as Arthur inevitably and unfortunately devolves into evil.

I think most of the outrage and hysteria surrounding the film speak to the realism of Arthur’s world; it is far closer to reality than comic book films typically depict. Similarly to M. Night’s Unbreakable, Joker’s tone is muted and its real world environment really plays to the gritty, everyday atmosphere. Arthur is representative of a form of suffering and alienation that has become increasingly common in our current society. Arthur is poverty-stricken, mentally-ill and suffers from a neurological condition that makes him laugh uncontrollably. He lives with his ailing mother Penny in a dimly-lit apartment building with faulty elevators. It is not difficult to see how someone like Arthur elicits abuse and contempt on a daily basis in a society that is overbearingly cruel towards its weak and powerless.

In this version of Gotham, there are clear divisional lines between the wealthy and the poor, the latter Thomas Wayne deems “clowns”. After Arthur kills in self-defense, he inadvertently starts a bizarre social movement that pits Gotham’s downtrodden against its wealthy. This movement speaks to the idea of recognition, an overt theme throughout the film. Gotham’s residents feel as though they aren’t being heard, that they are forced to live a miserable silence as the wealthy hide behind gated mansions, ignorant to their suffering. Arthur similarly has a yearning to be recognized but of a different form. He isn’t interested in the political movement he ignited, but rather, he wants recognition that affirms his existence. Thats an important distinction to make when experiencing this film.

Philips and Phoenix have crafted a chilling and disturbing picture of society that carefully treads the line between empathy for Arthur and holding him accountable for his actions. The film contends that in a society that fails to recognize and protect its most vulnerable, people in desperation will turn to someone they don’t fully understand and this can lead to chaos and anarchy. The film is dangerous in its commentary but is careful not to be in agreement with it.

Maybe as humans we could start treating people who are a little different than us more equal, better or at the very least, fair. These humans are not outcasts, they are just like you and I. They have feelings like me and you, except they constantly are being put down, pushed aside, laughed at and not taken seriously. There is an entire world present everyday that has limitations and mental health issues and its so easy to just look the other way. I completely am aware Joker is just a film, but its the best kind of film. Joker should awake a part of you that cares for people who are struggling everyday. People who’s limitation they themselves are unable to exceed.

Joker isn’t “a toxic rallying cry for self-pitying outcasts”, it is an appeal for compassion and empathy for those suffering with mental illness.

Family, Life

10 Years

Marriage is full of sacrifices and compromises. Growth and understanding are requirements. The simple and hard fact is marriage is difficult, especially for me. Someone who is an introvert/private/isolationist.

When I met Lindsey, I was very much those things. I was independent and satisfied. Years into our marriage I never changed. I stayed a stranger. That hurt Lindsey and I as a team. In the beginning we had a hard time finding a solid start. In the innocent sunrise of most marriages, ours was difficult and trying.

Of course not all was bad, not even the majority. But it was there; this feeling of me living life on my own and Lindsey along for the ride. I didn’t see it until recently and once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee the unfortunate truth. Because of me, we had an subpar relationship which directly equaled a subpar marriage.

Then I had a thought. Lindsey isn’t forced to be with me, she actively chooses to. That realization honestly changed everything. All of sudden everything fit into place. Like numerous puzzle pieces scattered, slowly lifted and fit in unison. I respected her decision to spend her life with me and I appreciated that sentiment on a very basic level. I truly learned to be thankful for very basic elements of our relationship.

When I look at her now I don’t want to be a stranger. I don’t want to just get by being an OK friend and husband. I want to be her best friend. Not just because we have to say we are best friends, I mean really enjoy each other’s company. Like genuine joy of each other’s presence. Ultimate goal.

I’m not perfect and i’ll never be the husband I think she deserves. But I’ll never stop trying to be someone who is trying to improve on a constant basis from here on out.

10 years in I can see the benefit of marriage, now. God gives you someone who chooses to spend their life with you and in return you embrace that person and respect them as their own human being. You experience the ups and downs, the bads and goods. The ugly and pretty. Whatever you experience, you experience open and honestly together. That’s how a relationship or marriage stays solid I think. Growth in unison.

What I’m learning: You acknowledge that life isn’t about you, and you breathe to see your spouse grow as a person and achieve goals. You wake up every day just to help and to make her life easier. I don’t want medals, I don’t want attention, I don’t want accolades, I just want her to know I love her by treating love as a verb. True love; giving all of you with the hope the other person will too.

I remember life as a stranger. But now I have a forever friend who I honestly couldn’t and wouldn’t want to live life without. She is the person I try and share every little detail with, she is the person I tell my deepest and darkest secrets to. She has always been mine, but now, 10 years in, I’m her’s.

I love your good vibes. I’m addicted to your positivity. Being with you is like wearing comfy pajama pants or sleeping in clean sheets after a fresh spin in the washing machine. You’re kinder and braver than I’ll ever be. Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll be.

Happy 10 Year Anniversary Linds.

Life, Technology

Thoughts on Apple’s September Event

It’s September which can only mean one thing. Apple is selling new phones and some other things… I have some thoughts… So let’s take the event as it unfolded shall we?

Apple Arcade

I’m not a huge gamer when it comes to mobile. I’ll play a game here and there. But my gaming experiences are limited to Chess and Alto’s Adventure. That said, I think the $4.99 price tag is really impressive. The whole service is going to hinge on the quality of games included. In the current state of games on iOS, $4.99 is a cheap price to pay for non-intrusive, scamming game developers always scheming to rob you dollar by dollar.

A word on game demos: Yikes Apple. Game demos in the beginning of an iPhone event? Snooze fest.

Grade = B

Apple TV+

Another $4.99 price tag. I think Disney pushed Apple into a little bit of a corner with this. I can’t see Apple wanting this service to premiere so low on the price scale. But, it’s really hard for them to justify anything more in terms of money. They don’t have a catalog of really anything, they didn’t buy the rights to a show like ‘Friends’ or anything widely loved. They are making their own shows and films, which takes time. But they haven’t proven anything to us as consumers.

The ‘SEE’ trailer looked amateurishly edited and ultimately uninspired. I was very let down from what I saw. Apple was championing this as their “Game of Thrones.” Who knows? It may be great. But it sure didn’t look it.

Nov. 1 launch date and the best detail yet; free Apple TV+ for a year with a purchase of a new phone/watch/mac/apple tv. Thats a good deal. It also plays into Apples favor too. Gain users, and give yourself a year to make compelling content.

Grade = C

iPad

Apple has had a hard time figuring out what to do with the iPad line for a while now. Recently they introduced iPad Pros with all screen, no home button designs. With that innovation also came a price jump which put masses of potential buyers out of reach of purchasing. This decision opened the door to lower cost iPad’s which was sorely lacking in the recent iPad lineup. A year back Apple introduced a new low end iPad that was touting some really impressive specs for a super low price, $329.

This year’s low iPad really looked fantastic. Still holding strong to the $329 price point, Apple gave it not only pencil support but a smart connecter for use of the Apple keyboard. Also, the 9.7″ screen was stretched to a 10.2″. Apple really deserves laurels for this kind of thing. Too often we hammer on Apple for increasing prices for mysterious reasonings. So when they can stabilize a price point and add great value to that product, they should be commended.

If Apple’s future of computing really is the iPad, they need to sell more to saturate the market. From early education to retired seniors. This low price and very capable iPad is a fantastic way to start that process more effectively. Couple this iPad with the newly announced ipadOS, and you have a powerful little machine at under 400 bucks.

Grade = A

Apple Watch Series 5

2019 was supposed to a be a minor year for Apple Watch upgrades. If you follow this stuff closely, you know last year’s Series 4 upgrade was a complete redesign with phenomenal advances. Any one looking ahead could and did predict this year’s Series 5 to sport some minor additions.

Boy we’re we wrong.

The most requested feature ever in an Apple Watch surprisingly landed. An ‘all the time on’ display that dims when not being used. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to look at my watch while working out or just every day usage and am forced to finagle my wrist in weird directions to illuminate the screen. No more. This is a huge advancement in Apple Watch’s capability and possibly the most significant upgrade in the 5 years lifespan of the product

Obviously everything Apple is doing with health is impressive, too. From sound measuring to menstrual cycle tracking, they’re keeping their foot hard on the pedal. As they should. The Apple Watch truly is changing lives. (That video almost had me tearing up)

Aesthetically, you can now purchase the watch in titanium and ceramic. Both look great and are a little bit on the pricey side. Also new is pairing any Watch model with any band. A configuration that should have been available on day one.

Grade = B

iPhone 11

Gone are the days of last year’s iPhone model to be the only low cost, approachable option. Welcomed is the iPhone 11. A truly great, sincerely marketed “the iPhone for most people.” That’s an accurate description in my opinion. No one feels good buying a watered down anything. That’s how the low cost iPhone recently has felt. This year Apple has really cleaned up it’s naming scheme and produced a truly desirable phone option at $699.

The internals are as powerful as the Pro models to the naked eye and the camera is more than efficient for everyday shooters. This is the first time in a long time I feel comfortable telling average users that the low priced phone is more than good enough to check all the boxes you need checked.

The new colors are… interesting. I was shocked they did away with the blue form the XR line. The green looked exciting in press photos, but not so good in the hands on videos I saw. The purple looks to be the best to my liking if I was into the whole colored phone thing.

Grade = A

iPhone 11 Pro / iPhone 11 Pro Max

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. There is no ‘Pro’ phone user. I have a little bit of an issue with Apple positioning this as a phone for the Pro’s. If what Apple is really trying to say is: “if your willing to pay more money, this is a higher tiered product,” that would sit a whole lot better for me. Even keep the name Pro. But, don’t say it’s for a Pro cinematographer. I personally know film directors who laugh at this idea of an iPhone being a daily shooter.

Now that thats out of the way….

Kudos to the triple camera lens. I know a lot of people are hating on it, but I applaud Apple for leaning into the camera system. They know what sells phones, the camera. So no matter how ugly the back of your phone looks, your picture looking gorgeous will certainly trump the looks of your phone. Everytime.

Clearly Apple is slam dunking on everyone in the chip game at this point. They touted the A13 for a full 5 minutes on stage and with clear reason. They are light years in front of any company. I’m no where near qualified to talk about chips, but I trust what Apple is saying is true based on phone performance and battery life increases alone.

We obviously have to talk about Midnight green and the introduction of clear cases. At first I was kind of down on the green phone. I figured if your going to make a green phone.. make it green! But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Adding a color to the line in a quiet design year drives sales. But you don’t want that color to not scream ‘Pro’ when you are pushing ‘PRO’ so you make it a muted, but classy tone. I get it and truthfully I would most likely purchase one IF this was a purchase year for me.

Also…clear cases.. finally.

All that said, iPhones Pro are a great upgrade if your coming from anything less than an iPhone X in my opinion. The security implication of Face ID alone should get you to upgrade. But if not, consider the camera and a13 chip money well spent.

Its pretty clear next year is a huge year for iPhone upgrades, but for now iPhone 11 and iPhone 11 Pro are really good options that offer a wide array a features and price points.

Grade = B

Overall Event

Apple is a weird company now. Positioned right in the intersection of the richest company in the world and trying really hard to not act like it. I don’t blame them. But, these shows are getting more and more tired. Or maybe I’m changing? I don’t know anymore.

The products are still very compelling products. The emergence of the services corner of the company is growing and with products like Apple TV+, Apple Arcade, Apple Music, Apple Care; what I was really hoping for was bundle of sorts. Kind of like amazon prime. Let me pay $30 bucks a month get all your services, etc. We didnt get that.. yet.

All in all, this was an iPhone event. Apple’s biggest product and it will continue to be for the time being. Interestingly though, Apple didn’t speak on the rumored ’tile’ product or anything to do with the new iPad Pros or the deeply anticipated Mac Pro or redesigned MacBook Pro. This leaves a whole lot of unanswered questions for the holiday season.

Coincidence?

I think not. See ya in October Apple!