danny dileo – ddileo

We Don’t Need to Whisper (2006)

Angels and Airwaves’ album “We Don’t Need to Whisper” turns 14 years old today. The influence of that album in my life is immeasurable.

Lead singer, Tom DeLonge is many things. Nowadays he’s the CEO of To The Stars Media and works hand in hand with former military officials to bring world citizens the UFO news. That’s crazy to even type. But, it’s true. The other side of Delonge is his musician side. He still makes an album once in a while and has glimmers of Tom of old, but nowhere near his hey day of 2006 and Angels and Airwaves debut album ‘We Don’t Need To Whisper.’

When Tom left, he broke blink 182 into two-thirds. The story goes DeLonge wanted to grow as a musician. Which was a very odd claim if you listened to blink’s most recent album up to that point. It was very experimental and easily Delonge’s most mature music to date. But that didn’t stop him from leaving blink-182 and starting an unnamed music project.

Enter me.

I grew up mostly with rap, hip-hop and 80’s music. I know that’s a weird blend, but that’s just what happened. My cousin Mickey really got me into blink-182 during the recording of their final album (Self-Titled). So I was on the front lines following Tom and his adventure when the band broke up. It didn’t take long for rumors to swirl that Tom was working on a solo project and that’s all anyone really knew for a long time. Blink-182 broke up in 2004. Angels and Airwaves first album wouldn’t be released until 2006. In hindsight it’s obvious Tom was working on AVA material before blink broke up, but waiting to hear any news from Tom or an update felt like an eternity.

My fascination with blink came at an interesting time in my life. Blink was known as an immature band, coincidentally I was maturing. I found blink’s music to be honest, upfront and transparent. I was moving on from the stage in my life of trying to impress people with possessions and ego and really clung to the honesty blink was singing about. They weren’t singing about how great they were or how they lifted them selves up against anyone. Quite the opposite. The later blink stuff was about feelings that you wouldn’t necessarily be proud of. Shame, fragility, depression, humility and hurt.

When I heard about Tom and his new project I was immediately excited. I don’t have a musician’s ear, so it was hard to pick out what members of blink were responsible for what aspects of music. But I had a hunch that DeLonge’s style was way more aligned to my likings than anyone else in the band.

The first step of Tom breaking his silence was a few interviews he did with Rolling Stone magazine. This was interesting because Tom was talking about growing his sound and moving to more of a Pink Floyd / U2 style of music. Regardless if Tom would make good on his claims, it was exciting to see the him officially working again. In those times, Tom had a way of creating anticipation unlike anyone I’d ever experienced.

I think it’s important to remember back then we didn’t have Instagram or really Twitter to the extent it’s at now, so getting leaks and accessibility to DeLonge was really difficult. But it also made the news much more worthwhile and exciting when we actually got some updates. Thinking back it felt like a personal relationship with the artist; something more intimate and special. Nowadays it’s sort of feels like you’re sharing the artist with millions of other people and their opinions on the internet.

The first official information we received about Angels & Airwaves was the band members. All unknowns for the most part, the band was built with Dave Kennedy as secondary guitarist, Ryan Sinn, the bassist and Atom Willard who was a known drummer from many bands in the punk rock scene. I remember getting excited about learning about these people and wanting to dive deeper into each of their lives but the internet wasn’t built that way back then. So I kind of had to take all of them for face value. Except David Kennedy, he played with Tom in Boxcar Racer so I was familiar with him.

The first real music we heard was a complete, seemingly accidental, leak of the song ‘The Adventure’. The story goes that a fan hacked into Tom’s personal email and then ripped this unfinished version of the song (gasps and all) and uploaded to the masses.

I’ll never forget the emotions I felt when I heard ‘The Adventure’ initially. I was alone in my room late at night. My laptop at the time was a Dell XPS. It had a really bright neon blue strip of light in front of the mouse pad, which seemed fitting – a mood setter. I must’ve listened to that leak of ‘The Adventure’ over 100 times that night. That’s not an exaggeration.

It was the first time I ever felt like I was flying listening to music. Also a reflection on Tom himself, like a man who went into exile and then finally made good on his promise of truly creating one of the best songs that ever existed. There were soaring guitars, melodic overtures, uplifting tones and beautiful lyrics that really painted Tom’s journey perfectly. This wasn’t your blink 182 Tom Delonge. This was a redeemed Tom Delonge: in many ways, a vindicated Tom Delonge.

I also remember feeling if The Adventure was this good, how much better could the rest of the album be? The internet was abuzz and taking notice. Rightfully so.

Unfortunately, Delonge let a lot of stuff go to his head and his claims started getting more and more outrageous by comparing WDNTW to ‘The Joshua Tree‘ or ‘Darkside of the Moon‘. Anyone on level ground could probably tell you he wasn’t going to make good on these claims, but I promise after The Adventure leak, a small loyal following was holding out hope. Later, in a documentary titled ‘Start the Machine’ (excellent watch by the way), Tom admitted that a lot of the claims he made were due to his addiction to pain medication and his reality distortion field was out of whack. I believe some of that, but I honestly think Delonge is the type of person who believes in what he does and at the time felt extremely strong about the work he was putting out.

A few months later, Angels & Airwaves starting going on tour. The album subsequently got slowly leaked and we went from static versions to somewhat OK quality of songs to very finalized versions of the songs. It really was a journey. Looking back, I can’t remember anything else in life that I was so closely glued to for updates and leaks because the end result was so positive and purposeful. Every little leak was a celebration. Every tiny song clip would be analyzed and commented on endlessly.

What made things even more special for me was this album in so many ways brought me closer to my two cousins, Mike and Mickey. They are huge music fans and both musicians, respectfully. My background is mostly a film person. In that sense I always felt alone because no one shared the love of that craft with me, or at least to the extent that I admired it. But being invited into the music world with my cousins was really special for me. I got to learn aspects of their lives that I truly cherished and we became so much closer as friends just because of a music album we all collectively admired.

Another unforeseen benefit of ‘We Don’t Need To Whisper’ was a growing relationship with my friend Jeremy. At the time, Jeremy and I had a met a few years prior. We both came from very different upbringings and backgrounds. We connected initially over cutting hair, but I really believe Angels and Airwaves solidified our pact as genuine friends. We traveled together listening to AVA, we trained listening to AVA. I mean, we experienced life together listening to WDNTW. Agreeing on Angels and Airwaves and experiencing their music together really bridged two very different people. Again, just from a music album, a true friendship grew stronger and deeper.

Speaking from a broader perspective, I don’t care who you are or what you’re interested in. If you like rock music or you don’t. Looking into Angels and Airwaves initial album, anyone could be inspired. Each and every person has lived Tom’s story in one way or another. We’ve all had the decision to make – to feel stuck and content just cruising along in our realm of comfort or take the risk in uncertaintiny. Tom’s journey was an age old quest: see what you’re capable of. Just once in your life, challenge yourself to the change the world.

The truth is Tom Delonge and the Angels and Airwaves origin story propelled me and gave myself the confidence to make one of the biggest decisions in my life: believing in myself enough to make my own movie from scratch. It’s hard to estimate how much inspiration was driven from Delonge, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I started writing the script for my film six months after ‘We Don’t Need to Whisper’ was released.

From visiting Tom’sAngels.com, to checking for leaks, to actually going to shows with my best friend Jeremy and my cousins Mike and Mickey, to actually getting to meet Tom and Angels and Airwaves in Times Square, there are so many amazing events that happened revolving around this album. I’m shocked it took me this long to write about it. I still listen to WDNTW on a regular basis and it never ceases to amaze me how these notes of music bring me back to a direct time and moment in my life.

Angels and Airwaves shaped me a lot as a person, and I don’t mean I wanted to become a rockstar. Tom and AVA’s movement really put me in touch with a feeling and emotion that I’ve always had, always felt and never really knew how to get in touch with. From the lyrics of the songs to the melody of the music, the inspiring messages, or just the plain artistry of the obvious hard work that went into making the album, experiencing We Don’t Need to Whisper really put me in touch with a part of myself that still holds true to this day. It’s a genuine voice I feel inside. A voice of hope, inspiration, and love.

I’m so thankful to have been able to experience Angels and Airwaves and the process of WDNTW coming to life. I guess everyone has things in their life that shape or influence them greatly. ‘We Don’t Need to Whisper’ is at the very top of my “influential works of art” list that helped me grow and see the true potential of myself in the world.

Deep Thoughts, Life

Status Crisis

I fell off a pretty high horse. At least that’s what it felt like when I left the Jacksonville Fire Department. Regardless of my reason(s) for leaving, the fact was and is I spent years (literally years) working hard to achieve employment. And after just 6 months, it was over. Like it never happened.

If I’m being honest, it still hits me hard from time to time. But, my open wounds haven’t stopped me from doing what I do best: think a lot about it. I got thinking about status and prestige. Why Jax fire was such big goal for me and why, currently, does it still leave a hole in my chest.

Then I learned of a man named Denis Diderot. Denis put a lot in perspective to me; about status, achievements and possessions.

I started thinking deeply of the reasons achieving JFRD was so important to me. I came up with a relatively simply answer: I made it a possession. And like we all do subconsciously or not, we let our possessions create our identity. Then in essence, when Jax didn’t work out, my identity was in crisis.

That took me back to Denis Diderot. He talked much about possessions. Looking for an answer and clarity from the Jacksonville Fire aftermath, I simply could connect Diderot’s idea of possessions and my goal of Jacksonville Fire.

Let’s talk about Diderot.

Despite composing several famous works, the French philosopher Denis Diderot spent the majority of his life in poverty. Like many enlightenment thinkers of his time, Diderot had little concern for material possessions. That changed when he received a new scarlet robe from his friend as a gift.

The robe was so beautiful that Diderot treasured it above all else. But Diderot also quickly realized that the robe was out of his place amongst his other common possessions. He didn’t own anything that would match the grandeur of his new robe.

And so Diderot went about replacing his old possessions. He replaced his straw chair with a leather one. A large mirror took over the mantle of his fireplace. He filled up the vacant corner of his house with a writing desk.

Before long, Diderot found himself in debt. As he remarks in his essay titled Regrets For My Old Dressing Gown,

“I was the absolute master of my old robe. I have become the slave of the new one”.

The Diderot Effect

Diderot’s story shows how the acquisition of new possessions or achieving status is never a singular event. Each new purchase or status achievements often creates a spiral of actions that leads you to mentally acquire more and more things.

It’s a social phenomenon that explains much of our modern consumption patterns. Savvy marketers often bundle complementary products together and make us offers so compelling we cannot refuse them. One seemingly innocent purchase can lead to many bad decisions.

Having heard Diderot’s warning, I now know what happens when we go about mindlessly acquiring new possessions. But that doesn’t make the suppression of this behavior any easier. To understand our true challenge, we need to scrutinize Diderot’s story more closely.

As he writes in his essay, Diderot cared little for material possessions before he acquired his new robe. He didn’t see them as representative of the inherent worth and value of a person:

“I can bear the sight of a peasant woman without disgust. That piece of simple cloth that covers her head, the hair that sparsely falls across her cheeks, those tattered rags that half cover her, that poor short petticoat that doesn’t cover half her legs, her naked feet covered with muck cannot wound me. It is the image of a state I respect; it’s the ensemble of the of the lack of grace of a necessary and unfortunate condition for which I have pity.”

But shortly after he acquired his new robe, Diderot’s views changed. He came to identify with the grandeur and beauty of his scarlet robe. Eventually, he thought the same of his other possessions as well:

“The poor man may take his ease without thinking of appearances, but the rich man is always under a strain”

How did a simple robe end up causing Diderot so much grief?

What We Really Want

As it turns out, Diderot was spot on about how material possessions become intertwined with our identity.

The wealthier we get, the more things become a form of self-expression. We no longer buy shirts and shorts for the cloth that covers our skin but also to reflect our tastes and social standing.

Ironically, the overt pursuit of status is a low-status activity. Chasing after someone’s approval demonstrates low self-worth, which is why we instead opt to chase after possessions. This explains why the biggest companies in the world spend so much on branding.

As Charles Chu notes in his essay, luxury brands like BMW make it a point to advertise to everyone regardless of their income level. It seems like a mistake until you realize that they’re not aiming to sell you a car — not directly at least.

Their goal is to get everyone to believe that their product is valuable. The money comes in when people buy their products in a bid to signal their status.

The Pursuit Of Status

It’s absurd that most of us are unhappy and yet, we have never been wealthier throughout history.

The problem lies in the nature of the game we’re playing.

Status is hierarchical by definition since there can only be one top dog at any time. That makes the pursuit of status an essentially zero-sum game, where your gain is my loss. We can never have enough if we need to have more than our neighbor. You can never really win because the game doesn’t end. All you can do is maintain your position at the top.

What do we do then?

Your first instinct may be to declare that you’re never going to chase status again. Yet, that’s unlikely to work out. Status was vital to our ancestors because it determined who got first choice of meat and mate: we were willing to give those who were more important to the group more privileges. While we don’t need the protection of a tribe today, status still serves largely the same purpose. We haven’t really changed much at all.

There are other ways to play this game though. Even if we’re biologically primed to chase status, it doesn’t mean that we need to acquire more possessions. A bigger and better house may force us to spend half of our lives working. The same goes for luxury cars, accessories and jewelry, although to varying degrees.

These items are costly — in terms of both time and money — yet have little intrinsic value. Why not pursue activities that are a form of signal, but also have inherent value as well? For instance:

Work out at the gym. A big reason why people go to the gym is so they can tell others about it. But working out also provides the inherently valuable benefit of being healthy.
Speaking or debating publicly. Speaking in front of an audience signals some form of expertise, but the prerequisite is that you must be informed. Knowledge is the main benefit.

Teaching others. It’s another demonstration of expertise, but it’s the Protégé Effect at work as well: you’re helping others learn a skill while refining your own understanding.
Jim Rohn once remarked that “The greatest reward in becoming a millionaire is not the amount of money that you earn. It is the kind of person that you have to become to become a millionaire.”

In other words, we should be aiming for the steak and not the sizzle. If we can’t give up the latter, we must make sure that it’s always accompanied by the former.

What Are We Chasing?

It’s easy to get lost chasing more without considering what we really want.

Therein lies the danger of mindless consumption and competition. Most of the time, all we really get are substitutes or replicas of what we truly desire in life. It takes reflection and honesty with ourselves to figure that out.

Take the time to figure that out before you embark on your chase. As you may have realized from Diderot’s example, it can be very costly when you chase the wrong things.

So to bring us back home, I’m not saying chasing Jacksonville Fire Department was the wrong thing. But it clearly didn’t work. I may not be feeling any better about my Jacksonville outcome, but at least Denis Diderot’s essay sheds some light on why it meant so much and why it still hurts.

You can’t identify yourself with a possession or a job. You’re bigger than that. I think that’s what Diderot was really trying to tell us. Sure, possessions, jobs and status are just things in this world. Let’s not miss the fact they they are complimentary things and not identity defining things.

I’m still Danny with or without the Jacksonville Fire Department. And shame on me for letting myself define my success with a person, place or thing.

As I wrote about a few years back; ‘Being you is good enough.’

That’s not breaking news, but sometimes a reminder is timely medicine to stitch your identity back together.

Movies, THE FICTION BOOK

The Fiction Revisited

It’s been 8 years to the date since I released my movie.

8 years.

Dec 9, 2010

The stage was set: a frigid winter night in Hartford, CT. Hosted by the gracious people of CineStudio Theater at Trinity College. There was a sense of magic in the air, at least for me. Magic and nerves. I remember those emotions like yesterday. Driving there I was so nervous, I couldn’t keep my car in one lane. My excitement equaled my level of anxiety, though. Working on something for years and years, and people finally would get to see it. Good or bad, my film was finished.

I have been thinking a lot about my experience. And even writing a book documented my filmmaking journey, which I hope to be out and available for the 10 year anniversary. But I wanted to expound on some thoughts in my head, and here is a great place to do it.

I don’t talk or write about my movie much and I often ask myself why. Writing, filming, post-production, etc. Honestly, it’s difficult to list everything I was responsible for before my mind gets exhausted. Making ‘The Fiction‘ was one of the highlights of my life and If I die tomorrow, to have been able to make a movie from start to finish would be one of my favorite, most cherished experiences of my existence.

Truth be told, the finished product just didn’t end up the way I envisioned it. What I didn’t realize before filming was how immensely hard making a feature film is. Especially when you have extremely little experience. I think anyone who read the script before shooting knew there was something special, but most people politely instructed me to not film it. To sell the script and move on. The ever repeating phrase of first time filmmakers hardly ever work, just never faded from consciousness.

I look back now and of course see mistakes I made. From inexperience, to just being entirely exhausted by the time we got to filming. I had that odd combination of being completely driven where no one, and I mean no one, could have stopped me from making that movie and combine that with not really knowing how to execute on a level this script deserved. In hindsight, I should have sold the script and starting work on something else. But that’s a lot easier said then done, especially now.

I often forget that when you believe in something so much, it takes a lot more than sense to sway you. Honestly though, I’m proud of that. I’m proud I had that characteristic in me at such a young age. I had a no tolerance, take no prisoners approach to getting the film done. I was stubborn, but in a good way. In a way you would want your kid to put his head down and dig hard for a goal. Show some mental toughness. Unable to be swayed by the world. I had that for sure back then. I don’t so much now. I’ve lost a lot of that energy as of late.

A few nights ago I did something I was dreading for a long time. Almost 10 years after wrapping on The Fiction, I watched it. I was nervous about this for so many reasons. I mean, I was nervous about being nervous. But I went to Amazon, rented a copy of my own film and watched.

Magic doesn’t work through time, the film still has many shortcomings as I remembered. Like I mentioned earlier, there were many technical issues as well as experience issues that plagued me throughout production. So watching through the other night couldn’t hide any of that. Those emotions rushed through me. I remember those feelings well. Being in our dark editing room months after shooting only to realize there is no way this scene is going to work as planned. Thats a scary feeling. At one point I remember driving home from an editing session and looking at the script sitting on my passenger seat, almost like it was staring back at me in disappointment.

The rewatch didn’t spawn all bad feelings, though. Actually, most of the viewing really comforted me. It comforted me to know that that was me. I know that sounds stupid. But its been 10 years now. It feels like another life ago. But it wasn’t, it was me. Still in the same skin just 10 years removed.

I loved seeing the cast. Eric, Andrus and all the heavy lifting they had to do to make up for my inexperience. They were sweet and gracious at every point of the production. I admired seeing Jeff play his multiple roles. I loved seeing young Allie play a role she was so committed to. Watching also made me recollect on the crew. Mike and Spike immediately come to mind. I have never and certainly now don’t mind saying this; The Fiction would have been half the quality it was without those guys. They did an amazing job with cinematography and Mike with editing. I am forever indebted to them. Of course I remembered Chris, my sound guy and long time school friend, who dropped everything so he could help me. He wasn’t completely comfortable with all the responsibility of a full sound team squeezed into one person, but he did it because he cared. I will always be appreciative of that.

Speaking honestly, watching The Fiction felt like a breath of fresh air. I know its a movie and to strangers, thats all it will ever be. But, to me it’s a time capsule for my life. Good or bad, I achieved this. Success or failure, no one could take it away from me. It was a tremendous learning experience about filmmaking, team work and most importantly, friendship. I would like to think everyone else on set felt this way, but I felt an extreme closeness to them while filming and anytime I saw them afterwords. Even when I rewatched, that feeling came back. The memories of jokes in-between takes and script revisions, prop placements and plot discussions. To me now, all that stuff feels so special.

After the rewatch I really wish I could hit the rewind button and go back. Not to fix little sound problems or acting quirks. Not to rewrite a scene to make it work a little better. Not to make different choices on set or off. I know it sounds crazy but I wouldn’t change a thing. I want to hit that rewind button so I could feel the warmth and camaraderie that the filming experience induced. I know I’ve tried to explain in words what I mean, but its just impossible.

Everyone involved in ‘The Fiction’ holds a very dear, special place in my heart. Who would have known the most important result of filming my own movie wouldn’t have been a completed film, but friendships and experiences that I never deserved and could have never achieved on my own.

Without a doubt, creating The Fiction was the biggest challenge of my life. But undisputedly, without question the most rewarding.

This is in no way a shameless plug, I promise. That was never my intention. But, if you read this post and are genuinely interested in seeing the film here are some links:

‘The Fiction’ Trailer

Rent or buy ‘The Fiction’ on Amazon

*Most Importantly: If you cannot afford to rent or buy, please get in touch via my contact page and I will gladly find a way to get you a copy.

Deep Thoughts, Family

2018 & Beyond

A new year is upon us.

For the past few months I’ve been pondering some thoughts regarding my energy, my time and ultimately, what I would like to exercise my concentration on. I want to announce some long needed changes to this site.

Most people hear the word “introvert” and equate it with shyness. If you’ve actually done any reading about it, you know that’s not the case. True introversion is a primary focus on one’s inner self, deriving value and meaning from that activity, as opposed to from the external world. Introverts can interact socially; they’re not afraid of social situations or interpersonal activities–rather they simply thrive more on solitary activities or with fewer people.

To the surprise of exactly no one who knows me, I’ve long understood myself to be this way. I’m totally capable of being social and thriving in those situations, but I prefer quiet environments, and more focused interactions with people. I also spend a non-trivial amount of time analyzing myself, my thinking, and my actions and trying to use this activity to learn more about myself, how I engage with the world around me, and how my actions affect other people.

I’ve always been a thoughtful person, even from a young age. But as I got older, different dimensions took shape and as my worldview continues to expand, the position where I place myself in the narrative of my life will often change.

Somewhere along the way I became interested in being someone on the internet. I started a blog, began using social media, and through those actions created an identity online, as so many of us have. It was great fun, I met a ton of terrific people, and explored new things with them. For about 10 years, it was a big part of my life, and somewhat how I defined myself as a person in the world.

But something changed in the past few years. I’ve found myself doing less online. Leaving social networks. Not publishing as many posts, and not beating myself up about it. All but disappearing from the public spaces I once inhabited, and reducing my voice to an occasional whisper in the dim of the dying night.

At the same time, I began focusing on other things. The balance of my life shifted. I began journaling even more, and making it a bigger part of my life than it had been. Actively reflecting more, and putting more effort into capturing my thoughts for myself. Talking about this with people, encouraging them to do the same. Always writing—because I do still love to write—but only for me, and not any other audience. Keeping those muscles in shape, but with a very specific purpose in mind. I use the app Day One on iOS and my Mac. I’ve talked about Day One to exhaustion but for good reason I believe. The app makes documenting your life so simple. The learning curve is close to nothing, and I truly believe the average person could use it and gain immense value in their life. So for the last time, go buy Day One right now… its like 2 bucks and fantastic.

I’ve tried to keep blogging, because I’ve had lots of people tell me they enjoy it when I do write, which is an amazing compliment and more than I could hope for. I mean, what better outcome could you have for writing something than for someone to say “I like that thing you wrote, thank you for doing that”?

But the fact of the matter is that I’ve lost whatever thing inside me made me want to write and put it somewhere on a steady basis, and I’m not sure why. I’ve lost the desire to do pretty much anything on the internet in any public capacity, and part of it is just who I am at the moment, and part of it is my ever-growing disenchantment with the rest of the world at the current time. So I’ve decided to just become an element of background scenery.

I wasn’t even going to write this post, but I figured I should. Because this isn’t me just being lazy and not blogging anymore, it’s a premeditated reflection on how I feel and why, what the effect of that feeling is, and how it manifests in my actions. Which exactly is the point. This is what I do. I’m just sharing this one with everyone, in case anyone gives a crap. (Presumably not, which is absolutely fine too.)

The internet is not the place it was when I started being really excited about it, and rather than stay here and complain about it like an old, cranky dude, I’m just going to leave it to other people for whom it’s still interesting.

I’m not disappearing off the face of the earth, I’ll still be around, and still work on deep, reflective blog posts that I enjoy sharing and hearing feedback on. I just don’t expect myself to churn in small post after small post. Week after week.

Like I mentioned in the beginning, the real life of less has already started for me. The discovery of minimalism and beauty of simpleness has already affected me greatly. It was only natural to reach my blog.

Family, Life

Hello Leo

At 12:17 PM December 26 2017, Leo arrived safe and sound. I’m not very smart, but I don’t believe blessings get better than this.

Life

2017 In Review

The year has come and gone. 2017 was supposed to be the year of less. But, that didn’t work out as planned. God had another idea. This past year brought challenges, learning experiences and growth. On the site, I attempted blogging every day for 2 months. While it went well and really allowed me to grow as a writer, I ultimately succumbed to the exhaustion.

I was lucky enough to have 1 of my posts featured by WordPress editors again this year, which is a huge honor. Also, I received some fantastic feedback from listeners on some of my more challenging stuff. Of course, the kids videos did really well with site traffic and I was especially proud of Liam’s video this year. The age and trip experience combination was really magical and I worked extremely hard on his video to convey all of that. I am really proud of the result.

Once again, thank you guys very much for sticking around and reading my stuff. Although this site is designed for personal reflection and documentation, I am grateful for any readers that pass by.

As usual below are the top 10 (12) posts this year based on site traffic:

In regards to 2018, I have a post coming that will better explain the direction I am shifting to. Thanks to everyone who spent their time reading my site. I genuinely appreciate it.

Merry Christmas!

-Danny

Family, Videos

Liam – Age 6 / Disney 2017

Liam being 6 has brought many changes to our lives and his. First, Liam graduated k5 and made big strides in his last year at New Hope Christian Academy. After his summer break Liam would embark on his first huge challenge in life; changing schools. Not only changing schools, but in a big way, changing the type of school. He went from a small, private school to a much larger, public school. Lindsey and I were worried about this but unfortunately, we had little to no choice.

Liam surprised all of us with not only flourishing in the change, but doing exceedingly well at his school work. His resilience astounded me. He served as yet another great life lesson to me. I think we push aside young kids and our children and choose to write them off in so many areas in life, especially the life lesson department. For me, Liam keeps teaching me things. In his 6th year, He’s taught me change is tough but doable. This isn’t an earth shattering discovery. But a great reminder, especially when you see your own kid do it. He gave me strength.

As for this year’s video, there is an obvious change. The run-time. It’s long. 7 minutes plus. There is a reason for this. I don’t want to spoil it here. Just watch the video. Let’s just say I spent many long nights and early mornings at Disney’s Animal Kingdom hotel lobby editing and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

To a strong, resilient and gentle soul….Happy Birthday Buddy. We love you.

Life, Technology

iPhone X Day

I woke per usual at 3AM EST to preorder my next phone. That in it self sounds ridiculous because it is. But us humans are prone to do ridiculous things. Also, per usual, my supposed silky smooth preorder process was anything but. To spare you the boring details, I finally got my confirmation email at 3:31 AM EST. That’s a lot of pull to refreshes on the Apple store app.

To be honest I wasn’t really surprised. That preorder process has never gone smooth for me. I’m always up at an ungodly hour, my devices are ready, and before I know it, people on twitter are saying what model they purchased and i’m still waiting for the store to open. At the end of the day I got in and my phone is set to arrive 11/17 – 11/24. The original launch date is 11/3. Considering dates fell all the way to December, I shouldn’t complain.

I settled on the black (space gray) iPhone X 64gb with Apple Care Plus. It wasn’t cheap, but also not extremely more expensive than what a regular iPhone would cost someone.
I think people get this confused because they are paying monthly on a phone (30 or 40 bucks usually) and for whatever reason, this particular model (X) was being lauded by its full price.

Days since my preorder have been interesting, though. My buddy Jeremy ordered one almost 24 hours after preordering opened and he is scheduled to get his sometimes in the next few days. I figure this was because he ordered through T-Mobile and not Apple, but this sort of thing was unheard of years ago. I’ve also seen people’s preorders jump dates from my expected ship date all the way to launch date. I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs. No movement on mine.

I don’t care much anymore to be completely honest. There was a time in my life I would be sitting in a line at some Apple store somewhere at this very moment instead at home typing. I guess the rumor is true, you change as you get older. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited for a new phone. My current is almost 4 years old now. Thats the longest i’ve ever kept a phone. I’m proud of such an achievement, but the age is showing in more ways than one.

Happy iPhone day to all! If you’re getting a shiny new iPhone X today, enjoy it! If you’re not, you’ll be ok. You’ll get one eventually. After a little while, you’ll start looking up rumors for the next iPhone. Thats just what we do. But challenge yourself to enjoy the now instead of the next. After all, its what you’ve been waiting for.

Life

The Abyss of Human Response & The Las Vegas Massacre

This wasn’t the time to stick your flag in the ground and fly it proudly. Unfortunately and predictably, thats what almost everyone did. It seems we live in a society that thrives on people’s opinions being heard and self righteous, boastful ideals being put on display, more so than prioritizing a basic human trait of sensitivity and humanity.

As if the massacre in Las Vegas wasn’t bad enough, how disgusting of a people have we become when the way the average person reacts is running to their side of the crowd, huddling up and playing follow the leader. Let me explain a little more clearly.

The cowardly, evil acts transpired on the night of Oct. 1 2017, and before Oct. 2nd turned my calendar, every social media or news outlet was filled with people who were attempting to state their case and dig their flag deeper in the ground. The Republicans or people who identify with the “right” attempting to preserve their guns and the rite to have them. The Democrat side of things or people who identify with the “left” rummaging to bash the media for not calling this a ‘terrorist’ attack because the shooter was white.

I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life to call myself a human. Listen, 58 souls died that night and guess what? All of them didn’t side with your political party, all of them didn’t have agendas that leaked out their nose. The majority of them weren’t like you.

But..

All of them most certainly had families. All of them were dads, moms, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins. You get the point.

Or do you?

I’m not so sure the average person does anymore. Human’s revolting recital to act like an insensitive blob of thoughtless flesh has proven beyond astounding to me. How did we get here? When mass amounts of innocent people are killed by a madman, and as humans we just use the event as a pawn in our chess game to further agendas.

It’s disgusting, unacceptable and reality.

Do you care so much about what others think about you and your political stances that you gladly will use someone’s disaster as your benefit? These are questions EVERYONE needs to start asking themselves. In an honest, humbling manner. What are we as humans if we walk over dead corpses only to gain ground for our beliefs, political gains, and the idea of false-self fulfillment? The answer is quite simple actually, we’re not humans at all .

I understand there is a perception now that you as a person, are so important. So you flock to social media because you must be heard. But the reality is your not important. These victims are and were and you took their precious last moments and reflection/ respect time to walk all over them and spew your prideful ideals out of your selfish mouths. Is it too much to ask the average person to put aside their own motives and be sensitive to people’s lives and the families of the victims? I fear the answer is an astounding, despicable yes.

To the very few I saw respecting the victims, thank you. You are a light in a very dark place. To the majority who plainly showed zero respect, I would say shame on you, but you obviously lack the ability to feel shame.

Below are the majority of identifiable victim’s names, DOBs, and gender. Please spend some time in prayer or solitude for the families of these souls. To us they are just names, to their loved ones, they are so much more than we could ever imagine:

Ahlers, Hannah Lassette — 6/2/1983 Female
Alvarado, Heather Lorraine — 9/20/1982 Female
Anderson, Dorene — 4/16/1968 Female
Barnette, Carrie Rae — 12/16/1982 Female
Beaton, Jack Reginald — 12/10/1962 Male
Berger, Stephen Richard — 9/30/1973 Male
Bowers, Candice Ryan — 8/10/1977 Female
Burditus, Denise — 6/5/1967 Female
Casey, Sandra — 11/1/1982 Female
Castilla, Andrea Lee Anna — 9/29/1989 Female
Cohen, Denise — 8/2/1959 Female
Davis, Austin William — 6/20/1988 Male
Day Jr., Thomas — 10/29/1962 Male
Duarte, Christiana — 8/7/1995 Female
Etcheber, Stacee Ann — 2/26/1967 Female
Fraser, Brian S. — 8/20/1978 Male
Galvan, Keri — 8/20/1986 Female
Gardner, Dana Leann — 7/6/1965Female
Gomez, Angela C. — 12/26/1996Female
Guillen, Rocio — 12/20/1976 Female
Hartfield, Charleston — 5/16/1983Male
Hazencomb, Christopher — 9/27/1973 Male
Irvine, Jennifer Topaz — 6/6/1975 Female
Kimura, Teresa Nicol — 3/24/1979 Female
Klymchuk, Jessica — 5/1/1983 Female
Kreibaum, Carly Anne — 12/9/1983 Female
LeRocque, Rhonda M. — 8/29/1975 Female
Link, Victor L. — 9/7/1962 Male
Mclldoon, Jordan — 10/6/1993 Male
Meadows, Kelsey Breanne — 6/26/1989 Female
Medig, Calla-Marie — 8/8/1989 Female
Melton, James — 8/2/1988 Male
Mestas, Patricia — 7/25/1950 Female
Meyer, Austin Cooper — 9/18/1993 Male
Murfitt, Adrian Allan — 7/5/1982 Male
Parker, Rachael Kathleen — 12/16/1983 Female
Parks, Jennifer — 1/18/1981 Female
Parsons, Carolyn Lee — 12/28/1985 Female
Patterson, Lisa Marie — 6/26/1971 Female
Phippen, John Joseph — 10/25/1960 Male
Ramirez, Melissa V. — 11/29/1990 Female
Rivera, Jordyn N. — 7/22/1996 Female
Robbins, Quinton — 3/21/1997 Male
Robinson, Cameron — 1/1/1989 Male
Roe, Tara Ann — 9/1/1983 Female
Romero-Muniz, Lisa — 5/19/1969 Female
Roybal, Christopher Louis — 10/9/1988 Male
Schwanbeck, Brett — 1/31/1956 Male
Schweitzer, Bailey — 4/5/1997 Female
Shipp, Laura Anne — 5/9/1967 Female
Silva, Erick — 8/19/1996 Male
Smith, Susan — 8/24/1964 Female
Stewart, Brennan Lee — 2/19/1987 Male
Taylor, Derrick Dean — 9/25/1961 Male
Tonks, Neysa C. — 7/27/1971 Female
Vo, Michelle — 1/10/1985 Female
Von Tillow, Kurt Allen — 12/4/1961 Male
Wolfe Jr., William W. — 10/15/1974 Male

Life, Movies

40th Anniversary of Close Encounters

Today marks the 40th anniversary of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” Spielberg’s masterwork about UFO’s, obsession, and conspiracy. One of my favorite movies ever released. A theatrical release is also slated to start today through Wednesday, Sept 6!

So many interesting tidbits are coming to surface today regarding production, etc.

Here is one my favs from sci-fi

“In the movie, the mothership lands, and then the little aliens start coming out. But as it was originally planned, they were supposed to come out and then sort of float around,” Alves says, still a bit bummed he couldn’t make the creatures fly around his massive set. “Flying all those kids would have been very, very difficult. And as it was, to begin with, the set was so big that we had 48 arcs up on that terrace and all these photo floodlights. It was just really, really complicated.”

The next idea was to have “little cuboids of light” fly all over the place. “The little cube things we had on wires, so there were little square lights flying by,” he recalls. “That became too much, so we killed that, too. Today we could do it with CGI. We would have flown the kids and gotten a green screen, put them in a layer and the same thing with the cubes.”

Unbelievable stuff. Please read the whole article though. If your interested in Close Encounters, its fantastic.