Category: Life

Life, One Day at a Time

Dinner Dates & Castle

The older I get the more intrigued I am of good conversation and good company. I remember being young, fancied with whimsical, loud toys and such items. Now I enjoy just letting people talk, listening to them and learning about each other.

Dinner dates are a perfect venue for such. If there are no kids involved, usually attendees will let their hair down and just be them. I like that. It’s a simple, clean idea that we seem to lose in this busy, rushed world. Talk and connect.

Recently Lindsey and I were out on a dinner date with our close friends, Cristen and Jeremy. They are at a amazingly unique time in their life. Why you ask? Nothing major, just gonna have a baby tomorrow.

Game changing, life altering, however you would like to put it – tomorrow is a huge day for them. Seasoned parents at this point, it was clear during our dinner date they are as ready and calm as any soon to be parent could be.

Truth is, maybe dinner dates are ending for us for a while with their new addition arriving. They are a couple clearly blessed beyond measure and deserve whatever gifts God bestows upon them.

2 of the most unselfish, genuinely nice people in the world. Congrats Cristen and Jeremy! Although our dinner dates will suffer for while, I take comfort in knowing your sleep will suffer just a tiny bit more.

I kid , I kid…..

Love you guys and can’t wait to meet little Castle!

Life, One Day at a Time

Liam School Decision

Liam’s teacher asked me today if he would be attending the school next year. Im sure this was because “early enrollment” for next year is ending soon and we haven’t joined in. I told her, “yes.” But truthfully, Lindsey and I have been thinking hard about what is best for him and his future.  Chances are, we are most likely going to keep him in his current school, but we want to make the right decision, for him, at the right time.

I came to the realization that a decision needs to be made sooner, rather than later. I was telling my mom (who was down visiting last week) that it makes total sense to switch him over to a different school earlier, rather than later. I just would hate taking him away from his friends.

Also, it really tears me apart inside to think of him in an uncomfortable situation. Being somewhere he is not familiar with, around people he doesn’t know. I guess thats the parent in me, but imagining him in any harm or discomfort whatsoever makes me extremely uncomfortable to say the least.

Maybe thats a parenting “turns out” moment. You could protect your kids as much as you want, but life catches up eventually and teaches lessons. Come to think of it, anything in life I ever felt a “gain” from afterwords had adversity written all over it. But, the pain of seeing any one of my kids feel the slight bit of hardship really hits me deep.

Guess I need to work on that. For their sake as well as mine.

Life, One Day at a Time

Technology & the Slot Machine Effect

At best obsessive, at worst addictive behavior. Thats not a great place to be.

I have been doing much thinking regarding tech and how it effects my life. More specifically, the instantaneous way we receive what we want, when we want it from our devices. The reality is frightening, but equally odd. Odd? Basically, we all know getting things immediately and without wait – on our time frame, in our elected way, all the time – is universally known to be awful for A). Raising children and B). Our expectation meter. But here we are driving a car off the cliff knowingly while we update our status, of course.

Are these machines and software just being built to keep people hooked on repetitive reward behavior, I thought? Another good question. I was thinking about this on my drive to work the other morning and then it hit me. So, so similar to the slot machine formula. It’s the same psychology to the point where its not just certain people are going to use their device to just be on twitter, or on Facebook.

Developers, etc are creating an experience to ensure that your decision making will choose the device over real people interactions and although I think deep down in their hearts they think they are just making an “good experience” for the user, the truth is they want you to use their software. Get on that app and post your status, pull to refresh all day. If receptive usage means good design, then by all means software designers are at the peak of their game.

How did it get like this? Truth is there always has been some degree of this in culture. The newspaper would be the first form of solo isolation in a mass market to utilize repetitive use. So honestly, the “everyone at the holiday party looking at their cell phones and not interacting” excuse isn’t applicable, because the same happened on many, many years ago with newspapers.

Then of course TV. Another medium that draws attention to the single item for repetitive usage. This is another iteration of an “on demand” product. Not so much that individuals had Netflix back in the 50’s. But to some extent that they had a remote and the option to choose a channel. The early stages of on demand I would contest.

You know the rest: Enter the Internet, the revolution of the personal PC, then iPods, iPhones, iPads and wearable devices. Theres no questioning this is our current isolation, reward seeking state.

To be completely honest, it’s disheartening . Its unfortunate to walk around restaurants and see every kid face planted in a cell phone instead of interacting with with their family. Or is that just todays version of everyone reading the newspaper?

Odd times we live in.

Life, One Day at a Time

Easter

Easter Sunday has come and gone. People across the world celebrate Easter Sunday in many different ways. Over my life, Easter has meant many different things to me.

Of course when I was younger, Easter meant one thing and one thing only, candy. Whether I actually believed a big bunny delivered this candy is uncertain in my mind though. I just knew when I woke up Easter Sunday, candy was to be expected.

As I grew older, Easter rituals and the meaning of Easter changed. I was brought up in a catholic school so Easter started turning into going to mass and learning about Jesus, the crucifixion, the burial and resurrection. I remember being young, like age 10, but finding that story magical. The story of Jesus and the resurrection wasn’t visited much in my younger years, but when Easter came around the corner, it was a welcome sight to behold.

In my late teen years I started to become passionate and exceedingly interested in the bible. I wanted to learn what it taught, for myself, for my future. At that point Easter became an interactive venture to me. I learned that Jesus actually died on the cross for me. That story became very personal.

I accepted and embraced Jesus in my mid 20’s. Easter then and now has meant a whole lot more to me than ever. Now I have a family of my own. A big responsibility sure, but an even bigger blessing.

Easter to me has been an ever-changing event. From candy and bunnies to Jesus and the resurrection. But like so many things in life, a process is needed.

I’m thankful for my childhood and the magic my family instilled in me. I’m thankful for the present, for a Savior who cared enough for a dying world that he would give his only Son to die on a cross for me.

Happy Easter! However you spent it, I hope it was magical.

Life, One Day at a Time

Home

Home. What does that word mean to you? If you’ve never gave it much thought, you probably have never moved and never been away from geographical familiarity. Before I moved, home meant one thing. After I moved, the distinct definition of home has changed.

“People aren’t transformed by locations…Eventually, we find a place that feels like home and learn to love it, but there’s no place where someone just waves a magic wand to make us become the people we want to be.”

Thats an important quote to take heed to. The grass is greener notion is almost always wrong. Your life is what you make it. And your geographical location should have very little to do with your well being.

I think home means many different things for many different people.

After much thought, at this point in my life the word home to me is people. My family. Where ever they are is where I belong.

Thier geographical location is the only one that matters.

Life, One Day at a Time

Man on the Corner

Everyone has a bad day. Driving home today I saw a man sitting on the side of the road, bunch of bags around him with his hand resting on his head. He looked exhausted, broken down and on his last leg.

When I saw him my first inclination was to stop. See if I could help with anything. I mean, you never know. But the traffic was heavy, turning around would have been a “hassle.” So of course I didn’t. Then I began thinking about how that man got to that place.

In my experience, people see a man like that and think 1 of 2 paths brought him there. Mindset #1 says he must have done something that deserved such a destination. Mindset #2 would say that the man on the corner maybe just had a string of bad luck. Maybe genuine misfortune brought him to that corner.

I fall into the latter. Even if his actions pointed him to the side of the road, what does that matter? He was there, he needed help and I failed at any attempt for such aid.

Something I always am working on is ensuring enough time to do things I think are worthwhile. I failed this time around. Hopefully that man on the corner had a better stroke of luck with another passerbyer.

That man’s bad day was an opportunity for me to turn it around and show a little help. Maybe give a church invitation? But alas, nothing. I need to work on putting more effort into other people. Lord knows I pour enough into myself.

Life, One Day at a Time

Destination Change

Its funny how things come into our life and present themselves. Opportunity, fear, joy and sadness. All major players. All emotions and events we are guaranteed to experience. But when they come; when they “present” themselves we are either surprised, nervous or doubtful. You would think by now we would have a handle on such things. Apparently not. Of course I am just talking about me, not everyone. One thing I’ve learned (the hard way) through this blog is everyone is different. Everyone experiences events and presentations completely differently.

Maybe when life presents you with something, you’re ready, set and good to go, but for me its always been the exact opposite. I’ve never been good at change. Even good change. I’ve never been a change person. But change has also taught me that change is good. A presentation that now, is still difficult but a little easier.

Today I realized something. The last 4 years for me have been mammoth in scale of change. I’ve moved from CT to GA. Switched careers, Lindsey and I had another child and bought a home. Trickle in some tiny bits if change here and there and thats it. That’s our past 4 years in a nutshell. Change is part of life. I get that now.

Change is a presentation in itself and no one is good at unexpected opportunities, bad news, etc. We all are a working project. That comforted me. Comfort in numbers I guess. But, if the past has taught me anything it should blinking in bright lights somewhere. I should welcome change. It produces growth and wisdom. 2 characteristics I never really care much for, until change presents itself.

Life, One Day at a Time

San Bernardino/Sandy Hook Elementary

I just ran across a breaking news story regarding a shooting taken place at San Bernardino Elementary school. My heart sinks to the ground. Even without knowing a single detail, the title is horrific enough.

I will spare any possible readers my regurgitating soapbox routine of gun control. All my mind could fathom right now is rewinding back to that winter morning when I learned of Sandy Hook Elementary and those unfortunate, tragic events. That morning still lives fresh in my head. Listening to music, cutting hair at my family’s hair salon in Naugatuck, CT when all of sudden the radio DJ interrupts the song and breaks that shocking news.

I’ve often wondered how the rest of the country was affected by that story. Being from and living in Connecticut, I could tell you it’s grasp was tight and unforgiving. From the moment that radio DJ came on and started speaking, we all were experiencing these details together. One, more horrific then the previous. Picture someone telling you the worst news you ever heard, then topping it with each new revelation. The victim count 7, 8,9, 14, 15, 23, 25. Then when you realized these were all innocent little children. Agonizing.

I’ll never forget my client’s reaction as the news broke. She starting sobbing. After gathering herself a little bit, she looked at me through the mirror and said politely: “I’m so sorry, its just too much to take in.” I completely understood. Emotions poured out of everyone that morning. Willingly or not.

This current day tragedy (San Bernardino Elementary) may not even be anything like Sandy Hook. I am writing this before the details are being released. But the headline alone shocked and disturbed me like a lost, bad dream I thought I came to terms with.

A good lesson that the past can never be forgotten, just a good teacher. If we are open to learn.

Life, One Day at a Time

Everyday Blogging – 1 Day at a Time

Always a scary thing no doubt, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately. What’s important to me. What’s not. What I want to spend my time doing, what I want to be creating and what I feel is truly rewarding to me and my loved ones.  In combination of the “Year Of Less” and of all the distractions I am trying to weed out, I realized the need to keep or create personally profitable acts. That notion is what brought forth this idea.

Everyday Blogging.

I doubt it will be easy. But its something I would like to try. The rewards are obvious: documentation and reflection. I have been using the app “Day One‘” for these purposes. While that application is great, I wanted to expand my reach a tiny bit. Also, when I write just for myself in a diary, I have the tendency to not document properly or “mail it in.” Memories are important. Some would say the most important thing. I don’t want to mail in memories. I believe publicly publishing may be the answer to this.

To keep me honest, I’ve added a little calendar to my site’s homepage to mark the days I’ve posted and days I haven’t. Also, I know some of you will ask so… I still will be working on my long form writing think pieces. Actually I could kind of document what I’m working on if I’m checking in with the site everyday or so.

  • Important to note 1 : I am unsure how this will coincide with my fire department job. I work every 3 days and they have a pretty strict policy on posting while on duty. So writing on my “on duty” day may be a no go.
  • Important to note 2: Im going to just stick to week days for a awhile. Weekends seems too invasive.

Anyways….So here we go. I’ll preface all of this by saying I have no clue how long this will last for. But trying is more important than failing to me.

Life

Short Stories and 2017

Its been a while since I posted a short story. To be honest, writing fictional stories takes up much time and energy. I set out a few months ago to work on two or three for release in 2017, though.

Im happy to say 1 of them is nearing completion and should be posted within the next week or so. Im always nervous when it comes to fiction and letting people read. I didn’t have the best of experiences with my film and since then, I’ve been a little bashful to release something personal that I created out of nothing.

But anyways, the story is darker then my usual style. But I really wanted to write something of authenticity. The story revolves around a man volunteering at a Suicide Hotline and written in the first person. I posted a very early draft of this idea years ago, but took it down due to my unsatisfaction with it’s flow and tone. But now, I feel its right and ready.

So I hope everyone enjoys it. Just maneuvering some finishing touches. The story is called “Moments.”